


To Touch the Stars

by smileplease91



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, M/M, Post-Time Skip, Pre-Time Skip, Rare Pairings, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:48:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28729926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileplease91/pseuds/smileplease91
Summary: Byleth never thought her taking a teaching position at Garreg Mach would lead her down a path of war and heartache. Yet, meeting Ashe was one of the best things to ever happen to her. War is hell- a hell they will walk through, side by side.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Been wanting to try my hand at a Fire Emblem fic. I have written two, but those are on Fanfiction.net. Three Houses has become my favorite, and I rarely see Ashe X F!Byleth for pairings, and as he is my favorite, I wanted to write about them. I hope you will give this a chance. Thank you!

Perhaps her father was right. Coming to the monastery was one of the best things to have ever happened to her. 

As Byleth sat in the dining hall, sipping on her morning coffee with biscuits and grape jam in front of her, she could hear the chatter of her students, as well as those in the other houses. She had chosen to head the Blue Lions house, and she hoped she was doing an adequate job of doing so. Her students were every bit as keen to learn as she was told they would be, and she had even started winning those from the two other houses to join. Never before had she displayed emotions very well, but when Jeralt had told her that she was smiling more and more with each passing day, she had to wonder if it was due in part of her students. It was certainly a change for her, going from the life of a mercenary to a somewhat quiet life she was now living in Garreg Mach. Of course, she still went out of missions the Church gave her, taking her students along with her. Nothing had been serious until now. 

“Professor, may I?” she heard to her side. She turned her head, Dimitri standing there with his plate piled high with breakfast. It amazed her at how much he and Ingrid could put away, never quite seeming to get full. With a single nod, she gave Dimitri her answer, to which he pulled the chair out and sat down next to her. “You have my thanks.”

Dimitri was the crown prince of Fhirdiad, astute and dedicated to his learning and training. Wherever she saw Dimitri, Dedue was almost assuredly in tow, their friendship strong. She knew of Dimitri's past, and that he undoubtedly suffered so. Dedue had mentioned once to her that Dimitri was often plagued with nightmares nightly, and that while he ate his food with fervor, he could scarce taste a thing. She never questioned him as to why he would eat so much if he couldn't taste, as she felt it wasn't appropriate since Dedue had told her in confidence. 

“Are you ready for the mission, Dimitri?” Byleth asked before taking another sip of her coffee. “We set out tomorrow.”

He shoveled in a forkful of food into his mouth, nodding quickly as he chewed and swallowed. “I have spoken to everyone at length about the mission. It seems they were ready as well, if not slightly nervous.” 

This didn't surprise her. They would be fighting actual enemies- people- for the first time outside of training. She had warned them that this was real, and there would be death. Felix, naturally, was ever more eager at those words, ready to demonstrate his skill that he had acquired over years of relentless training. Dedue had been stoic, silent as usual, and Dimitri's face was also set firm, reflecting his aptitude to be a leader. The others, however, were not as welcoming to the news. 

“I see.” She placed her coffee mug on the table, propping her elbow up beside it and leaning her head in the palm of her hand. “Who would you believe is to be the most apprehensive?” 

Dimitri slowed his chewing as he stared at his food, deep in thought. Byleth patiently waited for his answer, not taking her eyes off him. He swallowed his bite and shoveled his fork around in his food, showing a different side of himself to her for the first time: uncertainty. 

She shook her head. “If you are afraid I will pull them from the mission or that they are in trouble, that is not the case at all. It is my job as the teacher to give counsel, and I will do my best to lower their fears.” 

Dimitri chuckled as he looked at her. “You're always so formal, Professor. There is no need to be. We are simply your students.” When she didn't retort, he continued. “If there is anyone who could use your advice the most, I think it would be Ashe.” 

“Ashe?” she repeated, stunned. “Not Annette?” 

“Mercedes has actually helped Annette quite a bit with her worries,” Dimitri informed, returning to his food. “Forgive me if this seems to be of ill intent, but I assure you, it isn't-”

“You are the last person I would ever expect of doing anything of ill intent, Dimitri,” Byleth reassured; Dimitri's ears turned pink, but he kept his eyes on his food. “Go on.”

Dimitri glanced around quickly to make sure no one was around to hear what he had to say next. “I... well... Ashe has been an anxious soul as long as I have known him. He fears of messing up, of doing things wrong and disappointing everyone.” 

Byleth ran her fingers over the wood of the table, feeling the grooves on her skin. Out of all her students, Ashe, Ignatz, Bernadetta, and Marianne were the most troubled of all, frequently expressing their doubts and lack of confidence. Bernadetta would scarcely leave her room unless for class or training, and even then, she had to be coerced or promised her return back to her sanctuary. Marianne was quiet, full of self-hatred for reasons Byleth tried to get out of her but would fail. Ignatz believed he didn't belong at the monastery and only joined so he could become a knight one day, as he felt that was his path in life. And Ashe? 

Ashe was perhaps one of the kindest people she had ever met, and this meant something. She had been to so many places, had met myriad of people. Very little had she ever seen him not giving someone a hand or offering encouragement to others, and she herself had been on the receiving end at times. Yet, when it came to himself, he was harsh, critical, and discerning over the simplest mistakes. There were times when they were training that she saw his agility and speed, and it made her wonder what kind of life he had lead before coming to the monastery. She would watch as he would take arrows out of the quiver on his back, his fingers nimble and deft, drawing his bow with the skill and speed that surprised her the first time she saw it. During training missions where they were indoors, locked doors stood no chance, Ashe unlocking them in seconds. She knew he struggled with his self-confidence, but just not how much so. 

“I've tried talking to him, Professor,” Dimitri continued, breaking her out of her thoughts. “Felix has, too, but... well... you know how he is.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I take it didn't go very well?”

Dimitri let out a terse laugh. “Sylvain gave him a good slap on the back of his head. I know he meant well, but Felix doesn't have the gift of nuance.” 

“And Sylvain does?” Byleth asked, taken aback.

This made Dimitri laugh again. “That should tell you something.”

She sighed, trying to even think of what Felix had said to Ashe to have made Sylvain reprimand him so. “Should I give it a try?” 

Dimitri's eyes widened. “Professor?”

“Maybe if I talked to him, he'd feel better?”

“Perhaps,” Dimitri nodded. “He is fond of you as a teacher. Says he has learned so much, despite you only recently taking over our house.” He then nodded again and smiled at her. “Yes, I think you talking to him will put his mind at ease. He'll listen to you.” 

“Of course,” she agreed. “I'll do so before the day is over, you have my word.” She then stood up, her dishes in hand once she saw Marianne heading their way. It was no secret to her that Marianne harbored a crush on Dimitri, him perhaps the one person she had no issue speaking to. “I will leave you to your food. Thank you, Dimitri.” 

“Uh, sure,” Dimitri spoke, at first confused at her sudden rush to leave, then getting his answer when Marianne sat across him at the table. 

XXXXXX

It wasn't until after nightfall she was able speak to Ashe. Once classes and training were over, she began to search all throughout the monastery for him, but to no avail. She had even gone to the cathedral once or twice with no luck. She was heading back to her room, passing by the training ground, when she saw Felix exiting from them. He glanced at her for a brief second as he wiped the sweat of his forehead on his sleeve then stopped at motioned to the training grounds behind him with his thumb.

“Dimitri said you wanted to talk to Ashe. He's in there.” 

“This late?” she asked. 

“Has been here all day outside of class. I like to train as much as anyone, but he's pushing it.” Felix was unable to hide the disdain in his voice, and Byleth was no sure as to why he was upset. “Talk to him. I don't have time to.” He started past her, but slowed down for a brief moment. “Or, maybe... I can't. Not good at that stuff.”

“You tried, Felix. That still means something,” she assured as he walked away. She then walked to the training grounds, pushed open the massive metal doors, and made her way inside. The first thing she heard was the dull thump! of an arrow as it stuck into a target, and when she looked up, she could see Ashe standing in the middle of the grounds, reaching back for another arrow with dexterity and swiftness, nocking it on his bow, and focusing on the target for perhaps a second or two before releasing it. It stuck closely next to the arrow on the target, which was in the center. He proceeded to do this in succession until his arrows were spent, and he silently went to retrieve his arrows from the target. She drew closer to him, and when he turned around to make his way back to his spot to practice more, he saw her and jumped, a small yelp coming from him.

“Oh, goodness! You scared me, Professor!” he breathed, eyes wide. He then chuckled. “I _gotta_ tell Mercedes to ease up on the ghost stories about this place. She has me spooked.” 

Byleth felt something unfamiliar in her chest as she stared at Ashe. He was tired. His clothes were drenched in sweat, his bangs stuck to his forehead. But the part that perhaps made her the most... uncomfortable?... were his hands. Without permission, she reached for his bow, easily taking it from his hold and placed it on the ground, then grabbed both of his wrists. She pulled his hands up before her face, and he couldn't look at her any longer. His hands were nothing but blood and blisters, indicative of how much he was pushing himself. She could see them in the light of the moon, and the look she gave him was one he hadn't seen her wear before. 

“That's enough. Okay?” 

Her voice held not chastisement, but perhaps sorrow, and that took herself aback. What was this she was feeling? She could discern by his expression that he wasn't used to this kind of emotion from her, either, and this made her uneasy. Emotions didn't come naturally to her. 

“I... apologize, Professor,” he timidly muttered. 

She shook her head. “Go have Manuela can take care of you.” 

He smiled at her again, shaking his head this time. “It's nothing to worry about. I can manage on my own. Nothing some ointment and bandages can't cure. Besides, these will callous over, and that's a good thing. Or, well, so Felix says.” 

_“Or you could give him a hand. You have that stuff in your room, after all,”_ she heard Sothis speak in her mind. _“Could give you the chance to talk to him. He needs reassurance, and who better to give it than his teacher?”_

Byleth thanked Sothis, then returned her attention to Ashe. “Come with me. I have a first aid kit in my room, and it is close by.” 

Ashe's face became riddled with doubt. “I-Is that wise, Professor? If people see us going to your room-”

“You can wait outside,” she offered, and this put him at ease. He nodded, bent down to pick up his bow, and the two exited the training grounds, him following her to her room. She excused herself for just a moment as she went inside, only to return with her first aid kit. With a simple motion of her hand, he knew to sit on the steps, her joining by his side. “Let me see your hands.” 

Wordlessly, he held them to her, and she took out a vial of ointment and some cotton balls. She twisted the top off, pouring a small amount onto a cotton ball, and began to administer it gently on his left hand first. He released a quiet sound of pain, and she knew at once it had to sting. While she did feel pain, Jeralt had told her she rarely ever reacted to it, being a strong child who didn't cry when she was hurt. His blood was seeping into the cotton ball, so she got another, starting again. She could feel his eyes on her as she took care of him, and she wondered what was on his mind.

“Ashe,” she spoke up, not looking away from his hands, “you shouldn't push yourself so.”

“I'm fine, Professor. Honestly.”

With a nudge of her head to his hands, she gave him a soft scowl. “Does this look fine? Tomorrow, it'll be worse. Will you be able to fight?”

“Of course, I will be!” he answered quickly. “I'll wear gloves, and they'll be bandaged. I _have_ to do this.” His words made her look up at his eyes, which were off to the side, looking at nothing in particular. “I have to...” He blinked and found her eyes again. “Did I ever tell you I have a little brother and sister, Professor?”

“No.” 

He stretched out his legs, one foot crossing over the other. “Yeah. Samuel is twelve, Gwendolyn is ten I had an older brother, Christophe, but he, uh... died.” Not a word came from Byleth, so he continued. “Samuel, Gwendolyn, and I are adopted, y'know. Lord Lonato of Gaspard took us in. Christophe was his son, but we were close.” 

“I've heard of Lonato,” Byleth spoke, letting Ashe know she was indeed listening. “How did you meet him?”

“You won't think less of me if I tell you?”

Still treating his hands, she shook her head. “Why would it?”

“I... I did something bad.”

“Can't be too bad. You had to have been young. How much trouble can a child get into?” 

This made him laugh, but she could hear the disquiet in it. “Okay, well... I'll start at the beginning.” 

She listened. She listened to every word of his story, how his parents had died when he was young, leaving him and his siblings on the street. He had resorted to a life of thievery to keep them alive, stealing any and everything he could, breaking into homes and stores, pickpocketing those he was certain wouldn't miss it. He expressed his naivete at that, and how foolish he had been. He then told her how he had been caught breaking into Lord Lonato's home when he was distracting finding the book Loog and the Maiden of the Wind. He had been certain that he was to be punished, perhaps to never see his siblings again, when Lonato chose to take them all in and raise them in his family. 

“I don't know what it was about that book that interested me so much,” he sighed, now observing Byleth as she wrapped a bandage around his left hand. His right had already been wrapped, her touch gentle. “I couldn't read. My parents had died before I could start school, and I was taking care of my brother and sister. They had been so young... I just stared at the cover art, wanting to read it. Lonato and Christophe taught me how to read, and the first thing I read was that book. And I knew then that I wanted to become a knight.”

“How old were you at the time?”

“I was ten,” Ashe answered. 

Byleth finished wrapping his hand and put her hands in her lap. “Such a young age to make that decision.” 

Ashe shrugged. “Maybe. But it wasn't just for me. I knew I wanted to so that I could give Samuel and Gwendolyn a better life. So that I could show Lonato my appreciation for everything. So that... I don't know, so that maybe I could become someone.” He let out a defeated breath, his shoulders slumping as he stared down at his hands. “I spent a couple years doing the wrong thing, Professor, and it's something that I'm very ashamed of. I have to make things right.” 

Byleth leaned her back against the banister. “You were but a child, Ashe. No one can fault you for the decisions you made. If was a matter of life and death.”

His eyes found hers, and she could see a flicker of flame in them. “It doesn't change the fact it was still wrong.” 

With the force of his statement, she knew better than to play devil's advocate. “You're right. It was.” 

His eyes soften at her acknowledgment, and she could noticeably see his body lax. “Not many know about this. Could you...?”

She gave him a single nod. “Your secret is safe with me.” She then gave him a tender smile. “I can see why you have been training hard. For your family.”

His eyes moved up to where he was looking at the stars. “That's part of the reason. The other part is that I don't want to let any of my friends down. Or you, Professor.” 

“What makes you think you're going to let any of us down?”

Ashe bobbed his foot around. “I don't have a Crest.”

“Neither does Dedue.”

“True, but Dedue is already so strong. Dimitri trusts him with his life,” Ashe argued. “I haven't brought much to this house. I mean, there's Felix, who is already so far into his training. Annette is a genius when it comes to magic. Dimitri is a prince who is capable of great things. He runs miles- miles, Professor- and can lift things so much heavier than he is. Mercedes has her healing abilites, as well as being able to use magic, and Sylvain and Ingrid are impressive with their cavalier prowess.” Ashe look to Byleth again and motioned to himself. “I had nothing before I came here. That's why I've been training so hard.” He hung his head, and she could see he felt absolutely defeated. “I can't let anyone down, but...” He must have noticed how negative he sounded, and he snapped his head up and gave her the smile she had become so familiar with. “But I promise, I'll do my best tomorrow. And if you see me slipping, be sure to let me know. I'll fix it.” 

She said nothing, her eyes locked onto his, a look on her face he wasn't able to distinguish. Had he upset her? Disappointed her by his negativity? A feeling of unease came over him, and he began to fidget, the bopping of his foot intensifying the longer Byleth looked at him. It felt as though she was boring into his soul, and it made him want to leave. Just as he opened his mouth-

“I have faith in you.” 

The simple statement caught him by surprise, and all he could do was blink, his mouth slightly open. His professor had faith in him? 

“I'm your teacher, Ashe. Or did you forget that?” she spoke candidly. “If anyone would know how much you've improved, it would be me. You are right in that you didn't come here with much in terms of knowledge pertaining to battle, but you improved every day. You and Annette are the most studious of my students, your scores consistently at the top.” Her fingers traced over the lace of her leggings absentmindedly, but she kept her eyes on his. She hoped her words were reaching him, and that he knew she was being genuine. “You have grown so quickly, your skill with the bow nothing to smirk at. If anything, it has impressed me.”

His cheeks turned crimson. “It... has?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “I mean what I say, Ashe. Every word.” She then patted her own chest. “But if you don't believe in yourself, then believe in me. Because I have faith that you will be fine tomorrow. All of us will be.” 

Ashe's countenance shifted at her words, and she was met with a true smile this time. She could tell, for it reached his eyes. “Thank you, Professor. I... I think I'll start doing better now.” 

“I know you will,” she agreed gently. She then stood up, him rising with her. “It is late. We set out at dawn, so we should get some rest.” 

“Of course. I apologize for keeping you awake, Professor.” 

“Not at all,” she denied. “Now, go on. We are to meet at the gate in the morning.”

With a nod, he walked off towards his dorm room, his heart much lighter than it was before talking to Byleth. She looked after him until he was out of sight, then retreated into her room for the night, Sothis commending her for a job well done. 

XXXXXX

The battle had been long already, the sun high overhead and the heat strong. Kostas was hidden away in the back of the camp, those in his camp protecting him and putting up an intense fight. The first of the class to strike a bandit down had been Felix, which took no one by surprise. They had witnessed as he cut down the bandit flawlessly to protect Sylvain, and doing it without batting an eye. Sylvain had had no time to thank Felix, being the next to take a life. Byleth, while being engaged in battle, was astute to her students, watching their every move, elated with their teamwork. Felix and Sylvain had definite chemistry on the battlefield, working in sync, almost like dancers do. It was smooth, skilled, and she wondered why they fought so much at the monastery while being so in-tune with each other in a fight. 

The bandits had been stunned to see Annette, Ingrid, and Mercedes there, but then were stricken with terror when the three engaged in battle, giving no quarter and showing no weakness. Mercedes would whisper prayers for each enemy killed, but they each knew they were there for a reason. There was no room for doubt. Kostas had been horrified to see that Byleth and Dimitri had returned, having fought them before and knowing of their skill from example. Onward they fought, further into the camp. Ashe had silently moved to the brush, keeping out of sight, waiting for his time. Byleth had told him she would use him as an element of surprise, but perhaps this had been a ruse. She had known he was unsure of himself, and despite having assured her he had found courage in her words the night before, he worried that she thought him weak. With each yard gained, he trailed along, waiting, quiet, arrow nocked. Closer to Kostas, where they saw him waiting, axe in hand, surrounded by bandits. 

And once they crossed that threshold, all hell broke loose, and the fighting intensified. One second, it was calculated, methodical, and the next, it was chaotic. Dedue and Dimitri fought back to back, Mercedes attacking with her white magic and healing, Ingrid and Annette keeping her covered. Felix and Sylvain kept up with their teamwork, and Byleth was as unwavering as ever. Ashe used this to keep his cover, his footwork fast and soundless, his eyes on everything and on Kostas, who was making his way to the fray. Then, he saw it. A bandit sneaking up behind Byleth, who had her attention on two bandits before her. He pulled back his arrow, maneuvering to where his friends would be safe, and as the bandit raised his sword, the arrow was released. Byleth heard a grunt behind her, and a body hit the ground, and she knew. Ashe had made his move. But this caught the attention of other bandits, and they began to look to the foliage, some making their way there. Yet, Ashe was fast, darting from place to place and shooting, keeping them confused and unable to track him down. Kostas began to panic, seeing his men fall like flies to a group of teenagers and one lethal teacher. He saw an opening to Annette's flank, and he started to charge- an arrow whizzed by his face, causing him to look at the direction it came from. He saw a flicker of blue disappear behind a pillar, meaning whoever it was now out of the foliage and not far from where he himself had came from. 

“This is cowardice!” he yelled in anger. “Come out and fight!” 

Dimitri twisted out of the path of a sword, Dedue quickly rushing forward and taking out the enemy with one hefty swing of his axe. An arrow stuck in the neck of a bandit to Ingrid's side as she fought with a rogue, to which she was most thankful for. 

That's when Byleth saw it. Ashe jumped out from behind the pillar- no, not jumped. He was knocked back. One of the bandits had gotten around their line of sight and had found Ashe, and she felt a surge of panic, unsure of how much hand-to-hand combat Ashe had received. She herself had yet to teach him, but perhaps Felix or Ingrid... 

“Professor!” Annette gasped, having seen it, too. 

Just as Byleth tried to make her way to Ashe, Kostas intercepted her. 

“I won't let you win. Not again!” His voice was full of vitriol, and his axe followed shortly after. It was fueled by rage, desperation, and fear, but nonetheless was powerful. He knew this wasn't Byleth's first fight, that he was to take her seriously; he had failed to do so the first time, and he couldn't afford to do it the second. 

Byleth dodged his attack, and through the corner of her eye saw that Dimitri and Dedue were making efforts to fight their way to Ashe. Because of Kostas, she couldn't see where Ashe was anymore, and as much as she wanted to find him, she remembered what she told him last night:

_“I have faith in you.”_

Kostas pushed her back and raised his axe again, and as he lowered it, he shifted his attack, using the axe with one hand and throwing a punch with the other. Byleth blocked the axe but was punched on her cheek, making her stagger backwards. She wasted no time in regaining her balance, ducking to avoid another strike by Kostas, then putting her sword to her side to stop a sturdy kick. A quick glance let her see Ashe, grappling with the bandit who was making an intense effort to stab him with a knife, but was forced to focus on Kostas again when he swung his axe at her. She pivoted, fussing at herself to be more mindful.  
Ashe's arm shook as he and the bandit struggled over the knife the bandit was attempting to put in Ashe's chest. He lifted his knee, it hitting the bandit's stomach and making him grunt, doubling over and breathless, the blade moving with him and cutting into Ashe's forearm. Now free, Ashe took out a concealed dagger from his boot and delved it into the bandit's chest just as Dimitri and Dedue had reached him to give him aid. For a split second, he thought to have seen a relieved smile on both of their faces, but he ignored it for the time being. He turned his attention now to Kostas, who was raising his axe to attack Byleth. Hand reaching back, fingers taking hold of an arrow, it was in one, swift motion as he nocked the arrow, aimed it at Kostas' wrist, and released it. Kostas let out a scream once the arrow pierced through, causing him to drop his weapon, but the scream was silenced as Byleth ran him through. 

Just like that, the fight was over. 

There was no grand show. No cheers to be heard like they had read about in books. All there was to be heard was their tired gasps for breaths and the wind as it blew through the valley. Bodies lay scattered, all with their life snuffed out by those the Church had sent to end their thieving ways and bring peace to those who had been either killed or stolen from. There would be no thanks, other than from their professor, who once they were all gathered, gave them perhaps one of the brightest smiles they had ever seen from her, and despite their exhaustion, their wounds, they couldn't help but to smile back; even Felix had a smirk on his face that they were certain was due in part to their teacher. 

Her words were simple but held so much in them: “Great work, everyone. Thank you.” 

Their trek back to the monastery was a quiet, peaceful one. 

XXXXXX

Once their wounds were treated, they met up in the dining hall by Dimitri's wish. They gathered around a long table, food and drink set already, Dimitri waiting for them. As tired as they were, they were no doubt starving, as the fight had lasted most of the day, and they had returned to the monastery just as it was getting dark. Dimitri had requested the kitchen staff prepare dinner for them since they had missed it while out of a mission, and while at first, he was worried they would deny him, Rhea came along and asked them with such tenderness, the cooks could not bear to say no. An adequate feast was made, and when everyone had shown up, the happiness Dimitri felt was unlike any he had had in for so long. He couldn't recall the last time he had felt happiness, as well as relief that each had made it back. 

“Oh, this looks wonderful!” Ingrid nearly sang, her eyes sparkling as she looked at the food. “Think Ignatz can come? I wouldn't mind sharing a meal with him.”

Dimitri smiled. “Go get him, Ingrid. Marianne is on her way, too.” 

Ingrid clasped her hands and she darted off with a quick, “Go ahead and start without me!” 

Mercedes sat down and flashed them a smile of her own. “So, what is this for, Dimitri?” 

“Well, I guess... I'm just happy, is all,” he answered simply. “I also wanted to show the professor I am thankful for everything she has done for us so far.” 

“I haven't done anything,” Byleth rebutted, somewhat taken aback by the genuine gratification that was being given her. 

“Come now, Professor,” Dimitri softly chastised. “We all know that to be untrue. Had it not been for your guidance, we would have never been able to stop those bandits today.” 

They could see her shrink back into herself, unable to meet their gaze. “I... suppose.” 

Dedue chuckled, a first for many there to have witnessed. “No need to be humble, Professor. Dimitri is only being honest.”

Sylvain smirked, starting to dive into the food. “You all can chat if you wanna. I'm STARVING.” 

Annette gave him a smack on his forearm. “But Ingrid-”

“Ingrid said to go on without her, and that's what I'm gonna do,” Sylvain cut her off. He heard Annette's stomach growl, and he gave her a poke on her shoulder. “You're hungry, too. What good will it do to wait a couple minutes?”

Annette's cheeks reddened as she gave him a fierce scowl. “Sylvain, you're so mean!” The scowl quickly changed to a look of amusement as she sat beside Mercedes. “But... I guess it wouldn't hurt...” 

Within moments, Marianne had arrived without much of a sound, taking her seat next to Dimitri. While she was not talkative to others, the way she would talk only to Dimitri, her face lit up as she did made Byleth realize that, perhaps, the two were in the start of something. Ingrid came back, Ignatz in tow; he was perhaps the one person she could get along with easily, and even Sylvain expressed his surprise at this. Felix muttered to him that he better be careful lest he invoke Ingrid's wrath, which in turn made Ingrid angry at him. Flayn had wandered in at some time, taking her place next to Dedue and joining in on the chatter. They kept waiting for Seteth to show up and abscond Flayn away, but he never did. Dedue did seem to talk more than usual with Flayn, who was interested in everything he had to say. At some time during the feast, while all had finished but two, they started taking bets who would get full first: Ingrid or Dimitri. Ignatz and Marianne had looks of utter bewilderment on their faces, but somehow were still smiling all the same. At last, Ingrid caved and threw in the towel, and those who had placed their bets on Dimitri were a little more richer for it, whereas those who had bet on Ingrid groaned for their loss of money. All this, Byleth took in, noting again at how right her father had been that coming here was the best thing to have happened to her. She looked to her side, where Ashe sat, beaming and laughing along with the rest. 

For the first time she could remember, she felt like she belonged. 

Once the feast was over and everyone retired for the night, Ashe looked to Byleth then outside to see how dark it was.

“I know you can handle yourself,” he spoke, “but can I walk you to your room?”

She tilted her head to the side, confused. “Sure. But is there any reason why?”

His eyes focused on the bruise on her face for just a moment before he shook his head. “If you don't want me to, it's fine.”

“It's not that at all, Ashe. Do you just want to talk?”

He nodded. “For a while more.”

“Then, by all means,” she smiled. They began to make their way to her room, her walking slower than she meant to. She found his company comforting all the more these days. “Is anything wrong?”

“Wrong? No.” He rubbed the stitching on his arm. “As a matter-of-fact, the opposite.”

“Oh?” 

“Yes.” He reached out and tugged on the leaves of a bush as they walked by, pulling slightly to not tear them off. He let them go, the bush shaking gently. “I want to thank you, Professor. For having faith in me.” His voice was soft and sure. “Knowing you did was enough for me to start believing in myself.” 

There was a breeze that blew, sending chills through her body. Nights could get unbelievably cold, and it was something she was still getting used to. “As you should. You saved me out there, you know.”

This made him laugh. “I don't know about that.”

“No, you did,” she insisted. “You more than likely didn't see since you were fighting that bandit, but there was another who had attacked me while Kostas was. I had defended myself by killing him, but Kostas was getting ready to attack, and that's when you shot.” She smiled warmly at him. “So, thank you.”

His face became red, making his freckles stand out all the more. Those freckles that reminded her of stars. “Uh, you're welcome.” He looked away from her up to the moon. “I think I'll write home to Lonato and my siblings. I'll tell them what happened. Think they'll be proud of us?”

“I don't see why not,” Byleth answered honestly. “Don't leave out anything you did, either. You really came out for us today, you know.” 

“I... I'll do that,” he awkwardly agreed. She knew he wasn't used to getting complimented like this, and she was glad to let him know that he deserved it. “I'll be sure to tell them about you, too. How my teacher led us to victory and showed us we can do anything.” 

“I'd like that.” They were now outside her room, and as she made her way up the stairs, she glanced back at Ashe. “Rest easy tonight, Ashe. We all earned it.”

He nodded. “I will. Thanks again, Professor.” 

She smiled again at him then walked into her room, closing her door behind her. For the first time in a long while, her body was tired, and this worried her a bit as she sank down onto her bed.

 _“Well, well! Someone is certainly tired!”_ Sothis teased her. _“Worry will do that to you, I'm sure you know.”_ Byleth was quiet, and this made Sothis all the more curious. _“You don't, do you? Perhaps this is the first time you've ever had to actually worry about someone! Not that I blame you. Jeralt is no pushover. But your students are a different matter entirely.”_

_Sothis, please..._

_“Relax, Byleth. I am only playing with you. Of course, I won't deny that I am grateful, too.”_

_Grateful? Why?_

_“Isn't it obvious? I'm a part of you now. I've grown to like your students. So, I'm grateful they all made it out okay.”_

_I'm not... used to this kind of stuff, Sothis. Feeling. Father said I've always been a stoic person, but this makes me wonder if something was wrong with me. Why am I only able to feel things now?_

_“Who knows? Maybe being with other people besides your father and mercenaries is bringing out a soft side to you.”_ Sothis gave her a cheeky grin. _“We can leave, if you don't like it.”_

_No, I don't want to leave._

_“That's what I thought.”_ Sothis yawned. _“I am ready for some shuteye, aren't you?”_

Byleth closed her eyes. _Yes, I believe so._

Before sleep found her, she thought briefly on her words to Sothis. Sothis had teased her about leaving, but she had adamantly denied that without a second thought. A smile formed on her face as darkness found her at last.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth spends time with Jeralt, Ashe teaches her about the constellations... and a battle leaves them heartbroken.

Byleth stood beside her father at a creek within a stone's throw of Garreg Mach, fishing pole in both of their hands. Quite some time had passed since they were last able to spend time together, fishing being their bonding time outside of fighting side by side when they were still mercenaries. Jeralt was quiet, listening to her talk about her students and their battles as of late. How they were starting to grow and become stronger and more capable during fights. How she had found herself being saved by an archer before Kostas was to deliver a punishing blow. All the while, her eyes were lit up unlike he had ever seen. They hadn't caught much, their bucket containing three fish in total, but Jeralt couldn't have cared less.

Byleth was thriving. 

“I still worry, though,” she nearly whispered, her focus on her pole's end, waiting for the tell-tell signs of a bite. “I never had to worry before. It's... strange.”

Jeralt scoffed. “Thanks.”

“No, I mean-” Byleth breathed in sharply, “-you're a legend, Father. And I've seen your skills firsthand my whole life. But they-”

With a chuckle, Jeralt cut her off. “Relax, kid. I'm just messin'. I know it's different, having them under your watch.” He felt a nibble, but nothing else. “Gotta thank Ashe in person. He saved your life, and I'm grateful.” He glanced to her briefly to see her reeling in a catch. “You seem to think highly of him.”

“He's- ngh!- he's really coming into his- oof!- his own,” Byleth grunted, still struggling with her catch. With a tug, she pulled it out of the water and hooked her fingers into its mouth, her eyes expressing happiness and pride. “Oh! A Fodlandy! I should take this to Flayn.”

“Flayn? Seteth's sister?” Jeralt questioned. He smirked, observing Byleth remove the hook and toss the fish into the bucket. “Never would've pegged her to like fish.”

Byleth added more bait to her hook then tossed it back out. “Loves them. Dedue is teaching her to cook, too.” She grimaced. “Don't say anything, but she is an _abysmal_ cook. The only one who can stomach her food is Dimitri, but he can eat anything.”

Jeralt shifted his weight from his left leg to his right. “That so?”

Byleth nodded. “Ashe- he's so nice, Father- couldn't hide a hint of disdain the second her food touched his tongue. He came around and tried to give advice, but she is rather flighty. For some reason, she really pays attention to Dedue.” She gave Jeralt a quirky half-smile. “I will admit, she's gotten better. Still has a long way to go, but improvement is improvement.”

At last, Jeralt felt a bite. He set the hook and began to reel in his catch. After some effort, he had succeeded in catching a second Fodlandy and gave Byleth a smile of his own.

“Well, looks like Flayn will have quite the feast tonight.”

Byleth looked at Jeralt, and he felt his heart soar. The beam on her face reminded him so much of Sitri...

“She'll be glad. Thank you, Father.”

They fished for a few more hours, getting four additional catches worth keeping. As they made their way back to Garreg Mach, Jeralt carrying the bucket of fish and tackle box, Byleth their poles, he thought about their life before. He'd been wrong, keeping Byleth away. Perhaps not entirely wrong, as he still felt mistrust towards Rhea after all these years, but from people in general. Of course, they had been around other mercenaries and those they worked for, but if Byleth had shown him anything in the recent months, it was that she was flourishing and changing being around people close to her age. She was beginning to express actual feelings, emotions she had never perhaps felt before. Something inside her had changed, and whatever it was, he was thankful for. Each time she smiled, laughed, showed discomfort, became upset- he had to force back his urges to embrace her or commend her. He didn't want to dote too much or make her feel she was some sort of...

He stopped walking, making her stop as well.

_As some sort of monster._

She tilted her head to the side, confused. “Father? What's wrong?”

_Ashen Demon. Monster._

She had been called those named an innumerable amount of times, and he had always come to her defense. How could he not? She was his daughter. Sitri's daughter. He would never allow people to call her that to her face before, if he could prevent it. But now? Now, he would fight someone if they as much spoke the first syllables. 

He shook his head. “Nothing. Just getting a better hold on the bucket.”

“Want me to carry it a while?”

“Nah, I'm good.” He started moving again, Byleth following. “Let's get back, yeah?”

Once at the monastery, they found Seteth and Flayn almost immediately, giving them the two Fodlandy they caught. Flayn was thrilled; she twirled around before taking off to find Dedue. Seteth was exceedingly grateful, but somewhat saddened. Byleth didn't quite understand why; they had made Flayn happy, so shouldn't he be happy as well? Jeralt, however, put his hand on Seteth's shoulder, offering what Byleth knew to be a comforting smile. When Seteth walked away, Byleth asked what was wrong, only for Jeralt to let out a hearty laugh and saying nothing more on the matter. They then began to clean the fish together to prepare for supper. 

“Oh, by the way,” Jeralt spoke up as he cut into the fish, “you never told me what happened on your outing with Ashe the other day.”

“I didn't? I suppose I forgot.”

“Well, go on then,” Jeralt encouraged. She started removing the bones carefully while Jeralt de-scaled the fish. She told him how they came across a thief who had just stolen a book from Anna- Loog and the Maiden of the Wind, which happened to be Ashe's favorite book. In a turn of events, Ashe paid Anna for the book then left to chase after the thief. Jeralt was at a loss for words ever so briefly after hearing his daughter's tale.

“He actually paid for it? What kind of kid is he?” he vocalized, disregarding his attempt to mask his shock and disapproval. 

Byleth shook her head. “I'm sure he had his reasons. Hopefully, nothing bad happened.”

“Maybe you should teach your friend to look after his own life. Seems kinda careless.” 

“Father.”

“Sorry,” Jeralt sighed. “You're right. He must have had his reasons.” He straightened his back, hearing muscles pop here and there. “If he ever tells you, tell me. I'm interested now.”

Byleth scowled. “You're going to fuss at him.”

“Fuss? That's a strong word. No,” Jeralt denied. “I'll try to help him.”

“You're not his teacher. Leave that to me,” Byleth suggested. “It's my job, after all.”

 _“Wise choice!”_ Sothis echoed in her head. _“For whatever reason, I feel Ashe trusts you. If Jeralt were to chastise him, even if it was meant to be meaningful advice, it could break that trust.”_

With an idle wave of his hand, Jeralt conceded. “Fine. It's all yours.” He nudged his head at her. “Go ahead and wash up. We'll eat together.”

She nodded and hurried off, happy to be spending time with Jeralt. Never before had she felt excited to see and be with him, and while it was a fresh feeling to have, she was glad all the same. 

XXXXXX

For the next couple of days, Byleth thought about what had possibly occurred between Ashe and the thief. Obviously, nothing drastic; he was of sound mind, with no new cuts or bruises to be seen, and was still the same cheerful person as before. She meant to ask him but never found the time, until one day, he caught her as she passed by the library, where he happened to be studying (or, well, tutoring) with Caspar. Linhardt was asleep beside his smaller shadow, piled over several opened books, no doubt having been up all night pouring over them for research materials. He excused himself and chased after her, and before she could even ask what he had wanted or needed, he told her what had transpired. 

Her heart sunk, and it must have shown on her face, for he gave her a timid smile.

“Don't be angry, Professor. It's fine, really.”

She knew why. Ashe saw himself in the thief and wanted to help. She chewed on her bottom lip, trying to swallow her impulse to perhaps fuss slightly. Just because she had been scorned before didn't mean it would happen to him... or so she hoped. 

“Let's just hope it wasn't just a sob story, Ashe.”

 _“Not good,”_ Sothis hissed at her. 

Ashe shook his head. “I understand your concerns. If it does turn out that way, the only one who has lost out is me.”

_“And judging by how you're feeling, so will that thief if you catch him,”_ Sothis teased 

__

__

Byleth crossed her arms. “You're sure this is okay?”

“Well... I suppose it has to be for now,” Ashe replied. “I can't help but think back to what Lonato did for me and my siblings.” There it was; she had been right. “So, with the thief I caught in town, I was trying to do the same thing. To be like Lonato.” He looked Byleth straight into her eyes, wanting to get his point across. “I want make up for the bad things I've done. To leave this world better than I found it.” The words echoed in her head, and she could feel the sincerity behind them. Ashe had started revealing to her little by little some of the things he had done in his past life as a thief, and while she could never fully fault him for them, she knew he felt utter guilt. “That's why, even if it wasn't easy on my pockets, I'm proud to say I helped him.” 

As much as she worried about what he had done she felt just as much pride. 

“I can see you mean it, Ashe.” She smiled at him, wanting him to know she accepted his choice. “I hope you got through to him.”

He nodded in agreement, but at last looked away. She could see his confidence bottom out again, and it made her chest ache. “My contribution probably won't change much. And it's not like I have the money to help everyone who's suffering from poverty. Even so- I can't bear to stand by and do nothing.” He shrunk away, and she felt a pull inside her that made her want to say something, anything, but she remained silent. “What else could I have done, Professor?”

She wanted to kick herself. She ha made him doubt his choice when he had been so certain of it. She had good intentions, wanting to instruct him on being careful to not be so trusting, but it had failed to reach him in that way. Just as she opened her mouth to say anything-

“Ashe, c'mon,” Caspar called from the library entrance. “Help me wake Linhardt up. He's starting to drool on the books.”

“Uh, coming!” Ashe called back. He then excused himself and jogged back to the library, leaving her alone. Or, as alone as she could be.

 _“Don't be so hard on yourself,”_ Sothis soothed. _“He may have been struggling with his decision for a while. When you get the chance to talk to him again, be sure to let him know it's okay.”_

 _I will, Sothis. Thank you._  
XXXXXX

She didn't want to do this. How could she do this? Rhea had given them their next mission, and it was one she wasn't sure she would be able to carry out. More so, she couldn't possibly bring Ashe along...

Not to fight against his own adoptive father.

As she sat at her desk, her head in her hands, a million different thoughts were coursing through her head. The map of the battlefield in which Lonato was to make his stand was before her, and while she knew the formation she and her students were to take, she had one outlier: Ashe. Time and time again, he had spoken to her of how great a man Lonato was, and she believed it to be true. Yet, he was leading a rebellion against the church, against Rhea, and there was no coming back from that. Ashe had become increasingly quiet and forlorn, Annette and Mercedes trying their bests to cheer him up with baked sweets; Sylvain, in a vain attempt to help him, offered to take him with him to town in hopes to score a date, but of course, Ashe had turned him down. Felix and Ingrid had chewed Sylvain out for a long time after that mishap. Dedue had invited Ashe to help him at the greenhouse, but to no avail, and Dimitri... knew not what else to do. The other classmates tried their hands in helping him as well; Caspar and Linhardt suggested fishing, Petra offered to go swimming with him, and Claude... well, Claude just gave a witty anecdote, much to Annette's chagrin. 

Byleth wanted to talk to her father. Jeralt would know what to do, but he was out on a mission again, leaving her to her own devices. This was something she had never expected to have to deal with. Then again, would Jeralt even know what to do in this situation? 

There was a knock on her door, and she lifted her head up and looked to it. It was late at night, and most in the monastery were asleep by now. As tired as she was, there was no way she could sleep, not with this much on her mind. 

“It's open.”

“Pardon the intrusion,” she heard Dedue speak on the other side, and that alone was a shock. He opened the door and stood still, his eyes flittering around the room before finally stopping on her. “Professor, I wish to speak with you about the mission.”

“I had thought that was the case,” she nodded, turning in her seat to face him. “Go ahead, Dedue.”

Dedue crossed his arms, his face stern as always. “If I may... perhaps bringing Ashe would benefit us.”

That was yet another shock to Byleth's soul. Dedue and Ashe were fast friends, having bonded significantly over the past several months. For Dedue to suggest such a course was not to be taken lightly, and he must have known she felt this way. A moment passed in silence, Byleth taking in Dedue's words until she blinked twice, tilting her head up at him.

“I see. What makes you believe this?”

Dedue's shoulders laxed ever so slightly, and she could discern that this had been plaguing him for some time. Perhaps airing his opinion had helped ease the tension? Or was it because she was actually listening to him? “His Highness and I talked at great lengths earlier today, and we came to the realization that if anyone has a chance of convincing Lord Lonato to stand down, it would be Ashe. If he were to see his adopted son on the battlefield, prepared to fight against him if necessary, he would see the error of his ways.”

Byleth's mouth turned dry. “You mean to use Ashe as a bargaining chip?”

Dedue's face changed from laxed to soured, his arms uncrossing and his fists clenching tightly, his knuckles turning white. “Perish the thought.” The words were nearly spat out. “Ashe is our friend. We would never think to do such a thing.”

Byleth shook her head. “I meant no offense, Dedue. You have to remember, I was a mercenary for a long time. Such tactics were not beyond our use.” 

Her words put him back at ease. “I... see. Then, I must apologize.” He unclenched his fists. “We only wish to stop him before it is too late. If he were to realize that the church has sent Ashe...”

Her chest ached, but she knew Dedue was right. She turned to the map again, looking over the terrain ever briefly before turning her attention back to Dedue. Dedue, who was closed off to most but was gradually opening up to his classmates, and to her. It must have taken a great deal of courage for him to have come here and speak of this. She stood up and made her way to him, then reached out and gave his shoulder a gentle pat. His eyes widened as he stared at her, taken aback by the gentleness of her touch. 

“Thank you, Dedue. Tell Dimitri that Ashe will be coming with us.”

An odd smile formed on Dedue's face. “Then you believe it is worth the risk?”

“I do,” she agreed with a nod. “Don't worry. I'll do whatever it takes so that Ashe and Lonato do not fight.” 

The smile faded away as quickly as it had formed, a distraught frown taking place. “It is a battle, Professor. You cannot make such declarations.” He bowed. “I will take my leave.”

She watched him as he walked away then leaned on her door frame, hugging herself tightly as a wave of anxiety washed over her. She had to find Ashe and tell him, and knowing him, he was more than likely awake. How could he sleep when faced with such heartache? Her legs began to move on their own, going to various places she thought he would be until she tracked him down just outside the cathedral. He stood on the bridge, leaning forward against it, his gaze on the stars in the sky. Without a word, she made he way to his side, taking her place there and leaning against the bridge as well. Her eyes went up to the night sky, the stars bright overhead. The moon's light poured over the landscape, and as she thought about what to say, she saw Ashe point upward.

“That's Orion,” he spoke up, his voice quiet and calm. She followed where he was pointing, to see him tracing over a pattern of stars, forming a constellation. “See it?”

“I do,” she answered, seeing the shape in the stars. 

He moved his arm, pointing again and making a new tracing. “Ursa Major is there. Minor is right above it. Christophe said you can easily see them because they look like pans.” 

Having been told this, she could see what he meant. “Oh, I see. All I know is the North Star.” 

He lowered his arm, eyes still on the sky. “I take it was to be able to know your direction?”

“Mmhm. I wasn't taught constellations. Wasn't really needed, as long as you knew were the North Star was.”

She heard a light chuckle come from him. “Mercenary life didn't make it necessary, did it?”

“Can't say it did.” She ran her fingers over the rough of the stone, her throat tight. She had to let him know. He deserved to know before than to be told the day of. “Ashe... I could use you tomorrow.” He turned to her, and she could see his eyes were wide in shock. She bowed her head, guilt flooding every fiber of her being. “I know it's difficult to hear, but-”

“You were thinking of leaving me out?”

The question made her lift her head up, her eyes going to him. His expression was serious, but she could see the pain in his features as vivid the stars in the sky.  
“I... well, yes.”

He furrowed his brow. “Why?”

 _“My, my. Seems he had every intention from the start to go with you,”_ Sothis spoke. _“He's either hopeful or... he's given up hope. Yet, knowing what I know about him, he's holding on to the last bit of hope he has.”_

Hearing Sothis' words made Byleth want to... she wasn't sure. She had never cried before, but there was a lump in her throat.

“Oh, Ashe,” she sighed, leaning off the bridge and turning to him. She kept one hand on the bridge, running her hand over the rough surface. For the first time since she had arrived at the monastery, Ashe saw utter sadness in her eyes, and it made his heart sore. The first time he had known her to be sad, it was over him. “You know why. How could I possibly think to put you in such a position?”

He shook his head. “I appreciate the thought, Professor, but this is my fight, too.” He patted his chest. “Lonato is my responsibility. If I can face him and change his mind, find out the reason why he is doing this, there may be a chance to save him yet.” 

“Rhea isn't happy about what he is doing, Ashe,” she warned.

“I know that!” Ashe cried out, panic taking hold. He retracted a bit within himself, catching his feelings before they all poured out. “I know that... But I know she's offered clemency before.” His head fell forward, his bangs falling into his eyes. “I have to try.” 

Byleth longed for the return of the starting days when she had came to the monastery. Before this threat, when Ashe was merely another student, carefree and focused solely on becoming a knight, just like Lord Lonato and those he had read in his books. Now, here he stood, feeble and unsure about his future, about anything. In her mind, she couldn't help but to curse Lonato. Whatever his reasons were, he had no right to subject Ashe to this sort of torment. Catherine had told her that this sort of rebellion had taken years to plan, and was now in fruition. Ashe had been none the wiser to it, left in the shadows to Lonato's plots and heartache over losing Christophe. Catherine didn't keep it a secret that she was the one who turned Christophe over to the church, and that the two had been close friends before. Ashe had lost his parents, his adoptive brother, and could possibly lose Lonato. It wasn't right. 

She looked back up into the sky, Ursa Major coming into view. “You must have known I was going to have you come tomorrow.”

“Not at all,” Ashe denied. “If anything, I was sure you were going to make me stay behind.” 

“I want to believe we can save him, Ashe,” Byleth spoke softly. “I want to be able to meet him in person. To see what he's really like, for you to love him so much.”

“Then, you think we have a chance?”

“If anyone can bring him back from the brink, it's you,” she answered, looking away from the stars to his eyes. For the first time in days, she saw hope in them. “I believe in that. I believe in you.” 

Ashe's cheeks turned crimson, his freckles standing out all the more. “Professor, I... thank you.” He then looked back up at the sky. “I still can't sleep.” 

“Neither can I.” She gestured to the sky. “Care to show me more constellations?” 

“I'd love to,” he smiled. He pointed outward. “That's Taurus, and that there is...”

XXXXXX

After following Catherine and the few soldiers the church had offered them, they were soon in formation on the battlefield. Lonato had used the fog to his advantage, and they could only guess how many soldiers were scattered all around. Ashe stood beside Byleth, his bow in his hands with an arrow nocked; she said a silent prayer that it wouldn't come to that, but she wasn't naive. Catherine unsheathed Thunderbrand, its radiance shining brightly even in the dense fog, and just as she was ready to lead the assault-

“Wait,” Ashe muttered. She faltered and glanced back at him, a questionable look in her eyes. “Give me a chance.” 

Catherine's lips formed into a tight line as she looked from Ashe to Byleth, who gave her a single nod, telling her it was all right. Catherine lowered her sword, and Ashe walked forward three or so yards, the fog threatening to engulf him and obstruct him from Byleth's line of sight. To her left, Dimitri fidgeted anxiously, tightening his hold on his lance. Even Felix seemed to be uneasy, his focus on Ashe intense; Sylvain leaned down from on top of his horse to him and whispered something only Felix could hear, and Felix nodded, whispering something back. Byleth could only surmise what they were talking about- perhaps on how to protect Ashe and keep him away from Lonato. Ingrid's hold on on her horse's reins loosened as she prepared to take her lance in her hands. Annette's fingers fluttered over each other in uncertainty, ready to cast magic, while Mercedes stood quietly beside her. Dedue held onto his axe, his face set, unflinching, his gaze on perhaps was to be a second best friend to him. A friend he had made outside the tragedy of Duscur. 

Ashe stood upright, his demeanor shifting at once. “Lonato?” he called out loudly, his voice containing a strength they hadn't seen prior. It echoed in the fog, and for a moment, nothing was heard or said. Then-

“Ashe?” Lonato's booming voice reciprocated, and they could all hear the shock in its tone. “The church sent you?”

He shook his head. “I came on my own accord.”

“Then I must ask you to stand down. I must destroy these evil-doers by any means necessary!”

Ashe didn't buckle beneath the pressure of Lonato's words. “I can't do that. Please, surrender, Lonato! Whatever your reason for doing this, we can still talk it out!”

Byleth held onto a hope... they all did.

“Rhea is an infidel who has deceived the people and desecrated the goddess!” Lonato fiercely yelled, his voice containing such venom it made Byleth take a step toward Ashe out of reflex. “We have virtue and the goddess herself on our side!”

Ashe's grip on his bow tightened. “Even if all that's true, dragging the townsfolk into it like this isn't right! You know it isn't!”

“Enough!” Hearing Lonato's resolve in that one word, Byleth made her way to Ashe. “If that's how you feel, prepare yourself! I'm putting an end to this!”

“Lonato, no! Please!” Ashe begged. Hearing his desperateness made Annette's lip quiver, and Sylvain looked away in disgust, not because of Ashe, but what Lonato was forcing him to do. Felix bit down on his bottom lip hard enough to bring blood, forcing back an insult. 

“You've made your choice. Part of being a knight is seeing what you started through to the very end,” Lonato spoke, but this time with kindness. Byleth put her hand on Ashe's shoulder, and he knew... “I won't hold back, Ashe. I don't expect you to, either.” 

With this, Catherine began to the charge. It was slower due to the fog, but with each few steps taken, new enemies would appear, waiting patiently for the attack. Byleth kept her focus on locating Lonato before he could get to Ashe, but it would be difficult with Ashe constantly by her side. She wondered if he still held onto that last shred of hope... that maybe if Lonato saw him, it would change things. Each soldier met them with such vigor, fearing nothing other than letting their lord down. They threw everything into their attacks, making everyone fight back twice as hard. They had hoped that they could talk them down, convince their surrender, but that was beyond the boundaries now. There was no choice than to cut down whoever was in their path. Catherine appeared as unwavering as ever, not once showing doubt or remorse as she used Thunderbrand to take on her enemies. 

As they advanced, magic and arrows hailed from the forests, one attack catching Felix off-guard. A fire spell hit him on his side, sending him reeling to the ground. Sylvain wasted no time in hopping off his horse, standing in front of Felix with his spear in hand, Mercedes running over to give Felix aid. Byleth headed their way, her eyes scanning the area rapidly- another spell came, and she used her sword to dissipate it. Having seen where it came from, she ran in the direction to find a mage preparing another spell and cut him down. She heard rustling to her flank, and as she turned to face it, an arrow whizzed by, and she heard a grunt as she was met with the enemy falling dead, arrow in his chest. Ashe ran up to her, already nocking another arrow-

“Lonato took you in, and this is how you repay him?!” they heard a soldier fume. “Disgraceful!” As soon as the word was spat out, an arrow skimmed Byleth's cheek, and she rushed in that direction, Ashe trailing behind. 

Sylvain stood in front of Felix, his back to him, as though he were guarding him while Mercedes used her healing magic on him. 

“Mercedes? How we doin'?” he asked. A soldier darted out of the mist and began to attack him, Sylvain doing all he could to keep him away from Felix and Mercedes. 

“Just keep us safe,” Mercedes urged. “I'll do what I can.” She then smiled at Felix, who was wincing as he took handfuls of grass, his blood getting on Mercedes' hands. “Shh... it's okay, Felix. I got you.” 

Felix's eyes suddenly widened as they focused behind her. “Dammit! Mercedes!” He reached out and pulled her back, throwing her to the ground as he raised his sword- a lance rushed forward instead and impaled the soldier before he could get any closer to Felix or Mercedes. Sylvain's brow was furrowed as he pushed the dying soldier off his lance. 

“Hell no. Not like this. Not while I'm around,” Sylvain strongly spoke. He lowered down and took Felix into his arms. “Be still now. Mercedes will help you.”

Mercedes nodded and resumed healing Felix. Dimitri and Dedue arrived, taking in Felix's injuries briefly before hurrying off to fight. It wasn't long before they found a mage in a thicket, an odd mist coming from a sigil at his feet. He raised his arms and cast fire spells in quick succession, making Dimitri and Dedue serpentine their way around. An arrow sped through and sunk in Dimitri's left shoulder, making him cry out in pain, but the mist prevented him from seeing the archer. Another fire spell came towards him, but Dedue stood in its way, using his shield to block most of it. The mage raised his arms again-

“GET LOST!” they heard Annette scream from the mist, and they saw Sagittae come out and hit the mage, rendering him inept from pain and shock. Dedue used this time to rush forward and take out the mage, who crumbled to the ground. At once, the sigil faded, and the mist cleared, giving them sight to the area and the soldiers scattered about. Dimitri jerked the arrow out of his shoulder with a grunt, his blood coming out more than before. Annette ran up to Dimitri, and with what little healing Mercedes had taught her helped him with his wound just enough to stop the bleeding. Ingrid had charged the archer who had shot Dimitri and with a jab of her lance, took him out. Catherine, with skill that earned her the moniker “Thunderstrike Cassandra”, took on enemies with little to no resistance now that the mist was gone. 

“It's you...” she heard from the distance. She looked to see Lonato, on horseback, fury etched into his face “Thunderstrike Cassandra. It was your wretched zealotry that killed my son!” 

Hearing this made Ashe balk and look to Catherine, who spared no time. She only smirked at Lonato. 

“The only name I answer to is Catherine,” she proudly declared. “Prepare to taste the blade of one who serves the goddess!” 

The threat was to any and all who dared oppose her now. Lonato was still a ways off to her, but Byleth had managed to work her way close. She had lost Ashe along the way in the mist, and it wasn't a bad thing. She had hoped for it. As the others fought, she darted out of the forest and to Lonato, whose back was facing her- he wheeled his horse around and blocked her attack, his face betraying no other emotion than determination and rage. It was her first time seeing Lonato, and he was every bit as she expected him to be. He exhumed strength and bravado, with the face of a man who had won countless battles and had quite to stories to tell. It pained her that she met him on the battlefield.

“The fog has cleared,” he darkly spoke, his gaze hard on her eyes. “There's nothing left to hide you or the filthy Central Church from the judgment of the goddess!”

He thrust his lance outward, pushing her back. She readied herself and lunged forward, sword to her side. If she could get him off his horse, perhaps it would slow him down enough to talk- an arrow narrowly missed her head, it zooming overhead and sinking into a tree. She put her trust in her students, that they would deal with the other soldiers as she focused her attacks on Lonato. She was used to wounds here and there, and if she were to receive them, so be it. With a swing of her blade, she was met with another block from Lonato, who then parried with an attack of his own. She twisted away, the lance missing her the first strike, and ducked as he attacked again, feeling its inertia above her. She used her sword to knock it upward, and kicked forward with her back foot, her other hand securing a dagger from her waist in an attempt to take down Lonato's horse. But, she had to roll to the side to dodge a fire spell, it hitting her upper thigh. She let out a cry as she rolled upright, clutching her leg briefly until Lonato attacked again. Without much time to spare, she blocked it with her sword and thrust it back at him at such strength, it made him stagger briefly on the back of his horse. She jumped up and leaped at him, but he regained balance and used the shaft of his spear to land a hit to her ribs, knocking the air out of her. She felt a rib snap, and at once, she was nauseous. The breakfast she ate before they had left the monastery ended up on the ground, and before she could gather herself-

“Professor!” 

Through her peripheral, she saw Ashe take a hit from the shaft of Lonato's lance to his back and ribs, knocking him into her. The pain she felt from their bodies colliding added to the pain she felt from her ribcage, but she was concerned for Ashe. Yet, they knew they had no time to waste and rose to their feet. She could see a gash on Ashe's cheek, and she worried if he had been injured from Lonato's attack that was meant for her. The way he was carrying himself gave her her answer; he had been. 

Lonato raised his lance. “You are prepared, I see.”

As he thrust it downward, Annette sent a fire spell his way, making him have to dodge it. Ashe used this to shoot an arrow at him, hitting him on his right shoulder and knocking him off his horse. He hit the ground with a hard thud!, and as Byleth was to rush him, Ashe caught her arm. With one look, she knew he was going to try one last time to talk to him, and she was ready to grant him that. They neared him as he sat upright, his lance on the ground beside him, blood coming out of his shoulder, the arrow still stuck in. He reached and jerked the arrow out, eyeing it with an emotion Byleth was uncertain about before discarding it to the side. She looked down at him, hope again returning to her chest but Sothis giving her a word of caution.

“Lonato, please... it's not too late,” Ashe winced, obviously in pain. He set it bow down on the ground, and Byleth sheathed her sword in response, both showing they were willing to talk. “We can talk. Let's just... stop all this nonsense. Okay?”

The silence that followed was enough to put Byleth on edge, but for Ashe's sake, she held out. Then, Lonato let out a deep laugh.

“I told you to be resolved.” 

In the blink of an eye, he picked up his lance and went for Byleth, but Ashe was fast on the uptake. With the same dagger he had used to protect himself from the bandit, he withdrew it and plunged it into Lonato's chest, and for an instant, the world around Byleth went silent. Lonato's knees buckled, but Ashe took him in his arms; the weight was too much, and they both crumpled to their knees. Lonato's face was wracked with guilt as he was held by Ashe, whose eyes were wide in horror at what he had just done. Byleth called to Sothis, and using her power turned back the hands of time... for it to play out almost exactly the same way. Again and again, she turned back time, only for Ashe to be the one to stop Lonato by either protecting Byleth or another friend, and the last one spent was just the same as it had started. Sothis echoed that she was spent, and that it was fate for it to have happened this way. Byleth plead over and over for Sothis to give it another go, but there was nothing left. Those of the rebels still alive were captured by Catherine and the church soldiers, and as they went through their belongings, the rest of the Blue Lions house had gathered around Ashe as he still held onto Lonato, who was taking his last breaths. 

Ashe could only ask one question: “Lonato... why?”

They all wanted Lonato to say something to reassure Ashe... to give him some source of comfort.

“That vile woman...” he wheeze, blood seeping from his mouth and staining Ashe's attire. “Christophe, forgive me...”

Then, he was gone. Catherine had made her way up to Byleth to give her a report, but her words were drowned out by Ashe's soul-rendering screams. 

XXXXXX

Felix had made it out of the woods, thanks to Mercedes' healing hands. He had to spend several days in the infirmary, under Manuela's care, but it had been an extremely close call. Everyone was beyond relieved that he made it, but none more, it seemed, than Sylvain. He had barely left Felix's side, even spurning dates he had made prior to the battle so he could be there when Felix came to. Once while she was visiting Felix, Sylvain had said something to her about doing everything in his power to keep Felix from harm again. Ingrid and Dimitri tried convincing Sylvain that Felix was fine and for him to get some rest, but Sylvain was not having it. Ingrid had made a joke to him that Felix would be irate if he found out Sylvain was worrying himself to the bone for his sake, but she couldn't hide that she was proud of him. 

It had been a tough challenge, and everyone had come out with injuries and new scars. Several of Byleth's ribs had been broken, and the burn on her thigh would take a while to heal. While protecting Felix and Mercedes, Sylvain had received a slashing wound to his side that required stitches. Mercedes' magic had been tapped, and she had once thrown herself over Felix to shield him from a fire spell. She'd been hit on her forearms that had been wrapped around Felix's face, and it was a wound she said she would gladly receive again since it protected him. Annette's left calf had been shot with an arrow, and Ingrid's nose had been broken when she was knocked off her horse, making both her eyes turn black. Dimitri's shoulder had been wounded with an arrow, and Dedue had had an arrow graze his neck, barely missing his carotid artery. 

Other than his broken ribs and the gash to his cheek, Ashe had suffered the worst of all. And it was Byleth's fault. 

No one blamed her. Not even Dedue, who she had told she would protect Ashe from having to fight Lonato. Annette had told Claude about what had happened, and in his own way, he offered condolences to both Byleth and Ashe. Ashe had returned to his home to be there for his siblings and his adoptive mother, and when he returned, he informed Byleth that he had told his mother what he had done. 

She took it much better than he thought she would.

Byleth was amazed that his mother hadn't disowned him or cast him and his siblings out. Instead, he told her she took him into her arms and held him tenderly, telling him it wasn't his fault and that Lonato had forced his hand. And that had made it all the worse for him. He didn't feel as though he deserved forgiveness.  
Those who didn't know of the situation Lonato had put Ashe in called him a murderer. They accused him of patricide, would hurl insults his way, but he said nothing in return. He simply took the brutal words, telling Byleth about them in confidence that she would say nothing to anyone else. He didn't want others to worry more than they already were about him. He felt as though Felix deserved those worries and their prayers, not him. But, of course, everyone worried. When Felix was released from Manuela's care, even he expressed his concern for Ashe, and that meant something to Byleth. 

“I'm not used to seeing him like this,” Felix spoke. “Did you know I read a book about knights because of him? He's persistent and annoying, but... he means well.” He looked at Byleth with the most empathy she'd ever seen from him. “Look after him, will you? He trusts you.” 

Oh, how she wanted to rewind time. 

Catherine had found a missive on Lonato's horse that spoke of an assassination attempt, Rhea being the target. This in addition to all else sent Ashe further away from everyone. Catherine had been right about Lonato's years-long planning; it had all started when Christophe had been executed. Some of the students in the monastery began to look at Ashe with suspicion, since his adoptive brother and adoptive father had turned their backs on the church. If not for those who knew him better, Ashe would have more than likely been sent home just for means of protection.

The first couple of weeks were the worst. He made himself come to class, despite her telling him to take all the time he needed. His eyes were dull and lifeless, and his focus was gone. Caspar was beside himself in trying to help his other best friend, Linhardt telling him time and time again to give Ashe time and space. Ashe frequented the cathedral, prayed for many hours. Byleth kept her distance, thinking he needed it to get through. Sothis had to convince her repeatedly that she did all she could, and if no matter how many times she had gone back, it was fate for it to have ended the way it had. His athletic physic was growing thinner and thinner, the circles and bags under his eyes all the more prominent. Dimitri was becoming all the more desperate to help Ashe, but he was clueless. Then again, nothing can be done other than for them to be there for him. 

And that was what they did. 

The third week passed, and Byleth voiced her concerns to Rhea about Ashe's health. Rhea, in turn, gave her herbs for Ashe to use, and when she did her research on them saw they were to help with depression. When she handed them over to Ashe, he knew at once what they were. He appeared uncomfortable, but used them nonetheless over a period of time. 

The fourth week, Byleth was sitting in the dining hall, eating supper, when she heard someone in front of her clear their throat. She glanced up from her food, surprised to see Ashe there, a plate of food and a drink in his hands. 

“May I sit here, Professor?”

“Ashe! Of course!” she nodded vehemently, a fluttering in his stomach to finally see him in the dining hall. He placed his plate and drink on the table and sat on the bench, then dove into his food. He was eating almost like how Dimitri and Ingrid did, and it startled Byleth. “A-Ashe, slow down! You'll make yourself sick!”

“I can't help it,” he responded, mouth full. “I think it has to do with those herbs Rhea gave me. They make me hungry.”

“Oh? Maybe that's a good thing,” Byleth voiced, recalling the herbs. “No one had seen you here for a long time. Were you eating?”

Ashe swallowed his bite and took a swig of his drink. “...Barely.”

“Then, I'm glad.”

He slowed down now, seeing Byleth's eyes full of gratuity for Rhea. “I think I'll stop using them soon, though. I can't keep relying on them to work through this. They may help with the sadness and give me an appetite, but I need to do this on my own for myself.” 

Byleth smiled warmly at him. “I can understand that. There's nothing wrong with getting a little help, but you're right. You can't rely on them to get you through this.” She pushed her food around with her fork, her chest feeling tight. “Ashe, I'm sorry...”

He stopped midchew, eyebrow raised in confusion. “Huh? For what?”

“I didn't want you to have to... I should have been the one... not you.” 

“Oh.” He looked down at his food. “It's okay. He would've killed you had I not, and I know... I know he was past the point of return. We saw it ourselves- the assassination plot on Rhea.” He sighed. “I don't know why he never spoke to me about it. Not even Amelia knew, and she was his wife.”

“Maybe he didn't want you to risk it all.”

Ashe nodded slowly. “I think so, too. I just... I wish he would have talked to me.” He then found her eyes again. “How are your ribs?”

“Healing,” she answered. “Yours?”

“Same. I need to get back to my bow, though. I'm probably rusty after all this time.”

“It's fine, Ashe,” she insisted. “Take all the time you need. We'll be here to help you when you're ready.”

He smiled at her, and for the first time in weeks, she knew it was true. “I appreciate the thought, Professor, but I think I'm ready now.” He took a bite of chocolate eclair cake. “Mm, this is so good.”

“Well, look who it is!” they heard Sylvain's boisterous voice from the dining hall entrance. They looked to see the rest of the Blue Lions class coming in, each with pleased looks on their faces. “Good to see you here, Ashe!”

“Wait right there! We wanna eat with you!” Annette beamed. “Lemme go get Claude He'll be happy to see you, too.” 

“Then I'll go get Ignatz. He was worried about you, too,” Ingrid chimed in. 

Mercedes giggled. “Ferdinand is busy training at the moment, but I'll let him know you're doing better. He'll be pleased.” 

Dimitri's face lit up. “I'll get Marianne. Don't you two go anywhere!”

Ashe's cheeks turned red as they watched them run off to get their friends. “Er, I'm still eating. I don't know why they think I'll just up and disappear.” 

It wasn't long before they returned, and even Flayn had found her way in. Caspar and Linhardt had heard all the commotion, and despite Linhardt wanting nothing more than to get a good nap in, Caspar more or less drug him into the dining hall to join in. And as they socialized, Ashe realized for the first time since arriving at Garreg Mach that he had friends here. People who cared about him and wanted to see him happy and well. They had been there for him and waited patiently for his return. 

His food had never tasted better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a ship that I'm so sad can only be done in the Golden Deer route. I just want to include it in my story, because it deserves attention, dammit. Hope it doesn't bother anyone!
> 
> Also, no, it is NOT weed Rhea gave Ashe. Lol.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ball makes for an enchanting evening for many, only for heartache to render it in twain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Had a writer's block! Thanks for the patience!

Ashe blocked an attack from Byleth's dulled sword, only for her to throw a knee in his direction, making him jump back to avoid contact. She flashed him a smirk before giving chase, and just as he was ready-

“Time!” Sylvain called from the sidelines. Felix let out a frustrated groan, his back leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.

“C'mon, Sylvain. Let them fight.”

Sylvain shook his head. “Rules are rules.” He then smiled at the two of them. “Professor wins again, but by two points now. You're really improving with your swordsmanship, Ashe.” 

Byleth stood beside Ashe, the both of them drenched in sweat and panting heavily. After their first battle with the Death Knight, Ashe had asked Byleth and Felix to help him learn swordsmanship; it had been a somewhat close call for everyone, with Ingrid needing a stay in the infirmary for a few days, Ignatz only leaving her side for class and training and Dorothea doting on her until she was given the okay to leave. Byleth had also left the battle with a new scar to her hip, but she was just glad everyone had made it out alive. Thanks to Dimitri, they had been able to make the Death Knight retreat, and they all realized they needed to train harder than ever once he made the promise to fight them again. He had been ruthless, throwing tactics out the window and going full-force, rendering Ashe's bow in twain in a single attack. If Dimitri hadn't been there to save him, he surely would have died. They had fought him several times already, and each time, he was just as strong as the last. And after what had occurred in Remire Village...

“Indeed, he has!” Flayn chirped from the entrance as she brought in a jug of fresh, cool water. “Of course, with Professor's tutelage, it is only to be expected, is it not?”

Seeing the water jug, Ashe let out a huff and reached his hand out. “You're a lifesaver, Flayn.” 

She smiled as she neared them, then sighed, her eyes widening as she realized something. “I fear I have forgotten the cups!”

Byleth shrugged. “It's fine, Flayn. I don't mind drinking after Ashe.” She turned her head to him as she noticed her words. “You don't mind, do you?”

Ashe was so thirsty, he replied with a quick, “No.” He took the jug and handed it to Byleth first, letting her drink her fill. When she was through, she handed it to him, and he began to chug the water, feeling its coolness slide down his throat and into his stomach. The two of them exchanged the jug a couple more times until it was completely empty, Flayn's eyes giving off her shock as she took back the jug.

“My, you certainly were thirsty! Then again, it was a rather enthralling battle!”

“Thanks again, Flayn,” Ashe reaffirmed. Byleth nodded with him, expressing her thanks as well. 

“It is the least I can do for the people who saved me,” Flayn spoke softly, her fingers skimming the handle of the jug. “Had it not been for you, I would not have been able to join your class and make such wonderful friends. I would not have been able to see Dedue again, to taste his cooking and have him teach me.” She must have realized her words, as she jerked in place, her cheeks turning red. “Uh, forgive me!”

Sylvain laughed loudly as he gave her a wink. “For what? Having a crush on Dedue? It's all good, Flayn.”

His comment made her furrow her brows and Felix roll his eyes. “I would ask that you refrain from making such declarations, Sylvain.” 

“Oh? Then was I just imagining your relief when we took you to the infirmary to see him already there?” 

Her cheeks turned all the redder. “I do not recall such a thing!”

“I do,” Sylvain prodded, crossing his arms and pulling a finger on his chin as he thought back to the event. “You practically threw yourself into his arms. Did you think he was waiting there for you?”

“Sylvain!” Flayn hissed, her ears now red. 

Sylvain laughed yet again. “How sweet! I mean, he and Dimitri had taken Manuela there, but you were so happy to see him. It's really cute.” 

Flayn raised her arm to throw the jug at Sylvain's head, Felix moving to the side just in case she missed. Byleth quickly took his out of her hand just as she was to throw it, making her overextend as she was prepared to throw something heavier but now having nothing at all. She stumbled, Ashe steadying her, Sylvain laughing even harder. She wheeled around and glared at Byleth for having taken her weapon from her. 

“Enough, Sylvain,” Felix fussed impatiently. “Let's go. It's time to eat.” He then looked to Flayn. “Dedue cooked tonight. You'll be glad.”

Flayn's eyes lit up. “Did he? Then, I shall away to the dining hall!” 

Sylvain snickered, and even Felix clamped his lips shut, her not realizing that he had just poked fun at her. Byleth covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a laugh, and Ashe let a small chuckle escape before clearing his throat. He and Byleth watched as Felix, Sylvain, and Flayn left the training grounds to go to the dining hall, and he plopped down on the ground with a tired sigh, slumping over. Byleth sat down across from him and leaned back on her hands, her stomach rumbling. All the training they had done for the day had certainly made her hungry, even after drinking so much water. Hearing her stomach, Ashe looked to her.

“If you are hungry, by all means, join up with them,” he offered, nudging his head to the doors. “I'll be there shortly. Just need to rest a moment.”

“It's fine, Ashe. I'll go with you.” 

She thought to have seen a hint of red in his cheeks, but she attributed it to the exercise they had done. He rubbed his hands together briefly, then reached to his boots to fix the laces on them. 

“So, Hanneman still wanting to experiment on you?” he asked with a lopsided grin. 

Byleth shuddered. “If I never answer another question about my Crest of Flames or get my fingers pricked for blood again, it'll be too soon.” 

He finished fixing his laces and crossed his legs. “Why doesn't he ask Jeralt, too? I mean, he's your father. Wouldn't Hanneman want to know about your bloodline, starting with your parents?”

“Because Father is never around. Rhea keeps him busy. Even I rarely get to see him anymore.” 

The expression on Byleth's face made Ashe's stomach churn, and he instantly felt guilty. 

“Professor, I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me.”

“What?” she asked, confused by his apology. “How so?”

He drew in the dirt absentmindedly. “You must miss him. Your face told me so.”

Her eyes widened, and she was embarrassed. “Did... it?” She turned her head away from him. “I suppose I do. I've never been apart of him much before coming to the monastery. It's different.”

“Which is why when he's here, it's all the more important to spend time with him,” she heard him speak. This made her look at him to see a warm smile on his face. “I'm sure he misses you as well. Next time he's in, go fishing with him! You told me the two of you enjoy fishing together, so be sure to go with him.” 

Her chest felt warm by his pure suggestion, and she met his smile with one of her own. “You are right. I'll do just that.” 

As much as she was warmed by Ashe's words, she was saddened by them, too. She couldn't help but think about Lonato, and how Ashe would never get to spend anymore time with him or do the things they enjoyed doing together. She could never let him know that she blamed herself for what he had been reserved to do, and while it had been months since his death, she was certain the pain was still as vivid as it was the day Ashe had to force his hand upon him. Yet, he was still compassionate and held the a bright smile, coming through for his classmates and friends time and time again, in battle and off field. It was just the kind of person he was. 

“You all right, Professor?” 

She blinked, his concerned face coming into view, and she heard Sothis chastise her for staying in her thoughts for too long. “Just thinking about everything that has happened lately,” she half-lied. “It's all happened so fast, and I feel like I'm caught up in some kind of whirlwind.” 

This made him laugh. “Getting dizzy yet?”

She giggled at this comment. “Feels that way.”

“Have you had a chance to talk to Jeralt?”

“No,” she shook her head. She then leaned in closer to Ashe. “Can I tell you something that will stay between us?” Scooting a little closer, he gave her the answer. “There is something... off... about Monica.”

“You think so, too?” he asked, his voice unable to hide his relief upon hearing her suspicions. “I've asked around about her. Her friends that were in her class last year? They said she hasn't changed a bit physically, but her demeanor is incredibly different now.” He then shrugged. “Then again, I guess no one would stay the same after having been through what she has.” 

“I thought that way at first, but the more I talk to her and see her, the more I feel as though there's something about her that throws me off.” Byleth fiddled with her leggings, her mind on Monica. She was no doubt a strange girl, but she and Edelgard were always around each other, whispering but suddenly hushing when people neared them. Even Hubert seemed a little put off by how much time Monica spent with Edelgard. The more she thought about it, the more perplexed she felt, so she let out a sigh and rose to her feet. “Ready to eat with me?”

“Of course,” he nodded, standing up. They exited the training ground and started towards the dining hall, taking their time. It wasn't until recently that Byleth noticed she appreciated the walks she and Ashe would take together; she enjoyed spending time with everyone, but there was something different about the time the two of them spent together. She felt more at peace, comfortable. He had a calming presence around him; even Caspar was a little quieter by his side, much to Linhardt's liking. 

“Flayn really pulled through with winning us the White Heron Cup, huh?” Ashe spoke up by her side. 

“She has a certain grace about her, that's for sure,” Byleth agreed. “Seteth is so worried about her all the time, but I don't see why. She's coming into her own in our class, don't you think?”

“Mmhm,” Ashe nodded. “I think we've all grown. We won the Battle of the Eagle and the Lion, after all.” He then grew quiet for just a moment. “Professor... I'm worried... about His Highness.” 

She stopped walking, and he walked only a few more steps before he noticed she had stopped. His turned and faced her to see her face wracked with an emotion he wasn't able to discern; perhaps this was because she was still not quite adept at showing emotions herself. Yet, they had all seen more and more emotions coming from her as time pressed on, watched as they flowed more freely from her. 

“He's changed, hasn't he?” she whispered. She looked up from the ground into Ashe's eyes. “Felix warned me time and time again about this. That there was something going on inside him... I never thought he would be right about that.”

“Dedue is concerned about his health, mental and physical,” Ashe added. “I know you said he apologized to you about his behavior, as he did to us, but I still can't get over it. It was like a switch was flicked in his head.”

“Maybe... maybe the dance tomorrow night will give him a chance to unwind,” Byleth hoped aloud. “I think he's just so wound up right now. What happened in Remire stunned us all, but for an idealist like Dimitri...” 

“Yeah...” Ashe murmured. He saw that Byleth had started walking again, so he followed suit. “Sorry for bringing it up like that. I think Marianne is really worried, too. I see her in the cathedral more than ever.” 

Byleth thought about how she had seen Ashe in there less after he had taken revenge for Lonato. She could still hear his voice, darker than she or anyone had ever heard before, tell the dark bishop of the Western Church that “Lonato's blood was on his hands”. For a time, she replayed the scene over and over in her mind of Ashe mercilessly taking the man down in a hail of arrows, not even caring that Rhea was in the distance witnessing the bloodbath. Yet, after all was said and done, there was a newfound peace in Ashe's soul that couldn't be denied. He had thanked Byleth repeatedly for staying by his side during that fight, helping him get closer and closer to the bishop, wading their way through the enemies and thick fog. 

“Should I talk to her?” she asked him. “She's already such an anxious soul. I wouldn't want her to worry herself into an early grave.”

Ashe shook his head. “Hilda has been talking to her. Cyril says that Hilda is worried about Marianne, too. He told me that Hilda is even lazier now because she's doing all she can to make sure Marianne is okay.” He laughed. “Didn't think that was possible. Cyril is pretty patience when it comes to Hilda, though. Not sure why.”

Byleth chuckled for a moment before turning her head to him. “Will you be at the dance tomorrow?”

“Uh... I don't know.” He messed with his bangs that were still wet with sweat. “I've never been to one. A dance, that is.” 

“Oh?” Byleth raised an eyebrow. “Well, that's about to change! You'll go to all sorts of them once you become a knight, y'know.” 

“That so?”

“Of course. Didn't Christophe ever tell you about them?”

He thought for a second before replying. “True. He said he had to dance quite a bit.” He ran his fingers over the callouses on the palm of his hand. “I'm not even sure anyone would want to dance with me. I'm a commoner, after all.”

“You won't know unless you go.”

“But what if I step on someone's toes?” he fretted. “I would just feel awful about that.”

“Trust me, Ashe. There will be plenty of people there who have never danced before,” Byleth assured. She could see his shoulders lax at this statement, and she was glad to have made him feel better. “Besides, it's just to have fun.”

By his silence, she knew that he was thinking about whether or not he should go. She waited patiently, and when they neared the dining hall-

“Sure. I'll come.”

“Good,” she nodded once. “You will have fun, I am certain of it.”

In the dining all were most of those in the class. By now, she had recruited everyone minus the other class leaders and Hubert, but she knew he would never leave Edelgard, as devoted as he was. The dining hall was lively with chatter as everyone ate, but she could see the obvious outlier: Dimitri. He ate in silence now, if he ate at all. Dedue had asked Byleth to talk to the prince about his lack of sleep and his migraines, only for the latter to reassure it was only nightmares and sleep-derpivation that caused the headaches. By his side sat Marianne, who talked quietly only to him. Byleth could imagine that she was trying to get Dimitri to talk to her, to anyone, about what was troubling him so much, but if he wouldn't tell Dedue, his stalwart friend, then he would tell no one. Byleth, of course, wasn't so oblivious or ignorant to his issues. She had gone to Manuela several times by now, asking for her advice or for her to perhaps speak to Dimitri on her own. No doubt, she had, but there was only so much that could be done on their part. 

“Oh, Professor! Ashe!” Dorothea called out to them, waving them over to the table she and others were at. “Come on! It's actually to die for tonight!” 

Petra scowled at her remark before stabbing her food with her fork, bringing it up to her eyes and examining it. “Why would we be dying? Has someone poisoned the food?” 

“Ah, no, Petra. It's a phrase,” Dorothea grinned at her. “It means that the food is exceptionally good, that's all.” 

“Oh. So it seems I was not of understanding,” Petra sighed in relief, placing her fork and food back on the plate. 

Dorothea turned her attention to Byleth as she took her seat next to Petra, Ashe sitting next to her afterwards. “So, Professor. Will you be going to the ball tomorrow night?”

“What a silly question,” Linhardt dully chimed in, his head in the palm of his hand. “She is the Professor, after all. She has to be there.”

Dorothea shot him a look. “She doesn't _have_ to do anything, Lin. She could choose to stay in her room all night, or-”

“You know what I mean,” Linhardt interrupted. 

Dorothea's shoulders laxed. “I suppose. As you said, she is the Professor.” She then winked at Byleth. “I'm curious to see how many suitors will be lined up for you. Wonder how many different people you'll dance with before the night is over?”

Byleth blinked twice, not understanding Dorothea's seeming excitement. “I highly doubt any of that will happen, Dorothea.”

Dorothea let out a hearty laugh as she threw her hair back over her shoulder. “That's just like you, Professor. Maybe you don't realize what a catch you are!” She then looked to Ashe. “You and I, though? Commoners like us don't stand a chance.”

The statement made Ashe visibly deflate as he was putting food into his plate. After all the convincing Byleth had to do in order to get him to come, and Dorothea just unintentionally ruined it. 

“Yeah, I guess. I was thinking of not going,” he whispered. 

His remark made Dorothea's eyes widen. “Why ever would you choose to not?” she asked, appalled. “I'm still going. There is plenty to do than to dance with some posh, ignorant noble!” 

“Yes. I have heard telling that great food will be there,” Petra sided with Dorothea. “And I will have enjoyment being with friends.”

Linhardt let out a yawn. “You can go and do whatever you want. I'll either be fishing, sleeping, or in the library. Take your pick.”

Caspar slapped Linhardt's back in what was to be a teasing gesture, but it was enough to send Linhardt against the table, nearly bending him over. He grunted and glared at Caspar, who hadn't noticed.

“Like hell! You're coming with me, and that's that!” Caspar denied. “There's gonna be so much food! I'm not about to go without you and miss that!” 

“You're a nuisance, Caspar...” Linhardt sighed in annoyance. Then, that faded away, and he gave Caspar a lighthearted smile. “Fine. But I get to sleep in the next day. No getting me up early for training or anything. Got it?”

With a laugh, Caspar agreed before tearing into his food again. Dorothea gave Caspar a disgruntled look as they watched him eat.

“Caspar, honestly. Would a little table manners hurt?” she grimaced. “But, Ashe, you should really go. Besides, if you're to become a knight, balls will be a very common event for the future.” 

Ashe chuckled. “So I've been told.”

“And it's not as though you don't have anything going for you,” Dorothea continued, her smile honest. “You're rather cute. I've heard several students talk about having crushes on you.” 

This made his cheeks and ears turn red, his freckles standing out all the more. He kept his gaze on his food, nearly choking on his bite. “I-I don't know about that.”

“Of course you don't, silly!” Dorothea giggled. “They're secret crushes, after all! You may just get to have your first kiss tomorrow night!”

Ashe tore his eyes away from his food, frowning at her. “Who says I haven't had my first kiss?” 

The tone in his voice made Dorothea stammer briefly, and even Petra and Linhardt were surprised. Byleth's attention was now on Ashe, and the table had gone silent. They could all tell Dorothea was struggling to find her next words, and after some time, she finally timidly spoke, which was very unlike her.

“I... well... Sylvain and I were to believe... you know...” 

“Sylvain would,” Ashe scoffed. “Just because I'm not chasing after every skirt here, he thinks I'm some innocent person.” 

“So... you... I see.” Dorothea then gave him a cheeky grin. “Who was it?” 

Ashe raised an eyebrow. “Who was what?”

“Oh, don't play coy,” Dorothea teased. “Your first kiss. Who was it?”

“That's...” Ashe picked at his roll. “Uh...”

“Come on. Secret is safe with us.”

“Dorothea, leave him be,” Linhardt sighed.

“No, I kinda wanna know, too,” Caspar argued, leaning forward. “Let's hear it, Ashe.” 

Ashe continued to pick at his roll, the others quietly and somewhat impatiently waiting for his answer. They heard him mutter something, and Dorothea leaned forward as well.

“I didn't hear that. Could you say it again?” she asked. 

“Her name was Linette. It was right before I came here,” he answered more loudly so they could hear. “She was a girl from my town... someone I knew all the way back when I was a th-” he stopped then regathered himself. “Back when I was still with Lonato. We'd been friends for a very long time, and we, uh... well, we were really close.” 

“Is she your girlfriend?” Caspar questioned, now thoroughly interested.

“No,” he shook his head. “I mean, for a time, yeah, she was. But when I was sent here, she said I'd changed and didn't want to be a part of that.”

“I am not understanding,” Petra voiced, her eyes filled with doubt. “Part of what? She is not a student here.”

Dorothea's lips parted slightly as a small gasp escaped them, and Byleth knew at once that she had figured something out about Ashe that only a few knew of. She then gave Ashe a tender smile, reaching forward and putting her hand on top of his hand. Ashe's eyes locked onto Dorothea's, seeing a familiarity there that made his heart feel more at ease.

“People like us don't have it easy,” Dorothea softly spoke. “Sometimes, we make decisions that people do not understand, and that's okay. Had she been a true friend, someone who really cared, she would have stuck by you, no matter what.” She removed her hand and placed it in her lap. “You're a good person, Ashe, with a good heart. I mean that” 

“I...” he let out a breath of air, his cheeks turning upward into a smile. “You, too, Dorothea.”

Caspar's eyes darted between the two of them for a moment before he grumbled and stabbed his fork into his food. “I dunno what you two are talkin' about, but her loss, Ashe.” 

The rest of the meal was passed with various topics of conversation, other people joining in here and there. Annette was excited about the next night, while Ingrid was only looking forward to the food. She had complained to Byleth that Annette and Mercedes had insisted that she wear makeup, and to let them apply it on her. She had never been one for makeup and dressing up, but the two had told her that it was a rare occasion and to at least try it out. The one thing she was somewhat happily nervous about was what Ignatz would think. Annette had revealed to them that Claude had asked her to share the first dance with him, and she was nearly beside herself with glee. Others were fretting about learning to dance for the first time, if they would step on their partners' toes or mess up horribly. 

It made Byleth recall when Jeralt had taught her to dance. It had seemed so long ago now, the two of them having been invited to a ball out of gratitude after they had saved a lord's daughter from assassins. She had been surprised at how gentle he was, his hold on her hands soft as he patiently taught her to follow his lead, not to lead herself. Back then, she hadn't had emotions, only following after his tutelage, but the smile he'd had on his face when she had finally learned was one she could fondly remember. Perhaps she would get to share a dance with him soon, to let him know how grateful she was for everything. She hadn't thought about how he knew how to dance back then, but when he told her about Sitri, she would think every now and again how he had been with her. Had they danced together, like how she would see others dance the next night? There were so many things she wanted to ask him, and he had promised to tell her something once he returned from his mission. 

She couldn't wait.

XXXXXX

She hadn't been prepared at all. 

By the second hour of the ball, she had been asked to dance so many times, she had lost count. Claude had danced with her once, but he had joked with her the entire time that she looked as though she wanted to just run away, but that came with the price of popularity. She, at turn joked back with him that she had caught the kiss he'd given Annette during their dance, and that shut him up real quick. For once, the man gifted with a silver tongue had nothing to say at all. Yet, she assured him it was very sweet, and she was happy for the two of them. 

Ingrid, Caspar, and Raphael hovered around the food, Ingrid leaving only to dance with Ignatz here and there. The way he looked at her told Byleth he was over the moon with her, makeup on or no. Mercedes and Annette had done a wonderful job, but it wasn't Ingrid at all. Ingrid had a simple, plain beauty, and the makeup more or less hid it- no. It wasn't that. It was that she was incredibly uncomfortable wearing the makeup. Had she been, it would have only added more to her beauty. Ignatz had suggested her to remove it if it made her feel more comfortable, and she was grateful for this. When she returned, she was more lax and herself, and this was when Byleth was able to see that Ignatz was in love with her. She wondered if Ingrid knew. 

Sylvain, oddly enough, didn't dance with many women, as everyone was sure he'd do. Instead, he and Felix lingered around each other, talking about who knows what. Sylvain had danced a few times, but as soon as the dances were over, he returned to Felix, who would only grumble and seem irritated, but somehow happy at the same time. For all the fighting they would do, there were times they were inseparable and in tune with each other. 

Mercedes and Ferdinand danced often with each other. Lorenz would ensure that Lysithea was taking care of herself and resting properly, much to her chagrin. Dorothea shared a dance with Petra, who laughed freely, carefree and lively. Flayn danced with Dedue, who was somewhat worried about what people would think of her if they saw her dancing with a man from Duscur; however, it was decided that he should be more concerned with Seteth, who was glaring at him from the shadows. Dimitri and Marianne danced most of the night, and for once, it seemed as though Dimitri was at peace. Hilda tried convincing Cyril to stop working long enough to dance with her, and after some insistence and a word or two from Claude, he asked her to dance, but just once. Regardless, she was all smiles. 

Byleth, however, wanted to step away. When no one was looking, she managed to sneak out, the quiescence of the night welcoming. At once, Sothis was prodding her for a reason as to why she was leaving, joking with her about her popularity amongst the students. She lamented that she could not join everyone on her own, but was happy to be experiencing things with Byleth. 

Worried that she would be caught and dragged back to the ball, Byleth made her way to the Goddess Tower to hide. She only wanted a few moments to rest, and she would return. Then she thought about Ashe. It had been some time since she had seen him, and she was curious to where he had gone. He had been so worried about stepping on toes during dances, and that he didn't belong. She decided to look for him after she rested. When she reached the top, she was stunned to be met with Ashe's surprised face. 

“Professor!” he gasped, leaning off the stone balcony. “Did you come up here for a rest, too?”

“Actually,” she began, making her way beside him, “I was looking for you.”

“For me?” he asked, taken aback by her answer. “Oh! I'm so sorry to put you out of your way!I was just kinda worn out from all the excitement. I am enjoying the ball, but it's all just a bit much, you know?” He leaned forward onto the balcony on his arms. “Everyone else seems used to this kind of thing, but I've never been to anything like it before. My friends did teach me a bit about proper manners and how to dance, but I still feel out of place. Stepping on girls' feet, messing up the pretty floral decorations... Haha, I've been a bit of a disaster.” 

Byleth turned and leaned her back on the stone balcony. “Oh, they taught you how to dance?”

“Sylvain did, yeah,” he replied. “It wasn't easy, I assure you.”

“Learning to dance can be a challenge.”

“No, I mean... he kept making jokes, talking like a girl and all that.” He groaned. “It was a nightmare. He only stopped when Felix kicked him in the shins.”

Byleth let out a laugh, imagining the scene. She then put a lock of hair behind her ear. “I feel that way sometimes, too, though. So, don't worry.”

He raised up and smiled at her. “Really? You do? That's kind of reassuring!” 

“Of course,” she nodded. “I was a merc, remember? I haven't gone to very many of these things, so it's all sort of new.”

“I hadn't thought about that,” he murmured. “Are you having fun, though?”

She nodded. “I am. Just... needed a little break.”

“I get you,” he agreed. He then looked around the area before returning his eyes to her. “By the way, have you heard the stories about the Goddess Tower?”

“The gatekeeper told me, more or less. That if people were to make a wish here together, the goddess will make it come true.” 

“That's right,” he beamed. 

She crossed her arms, an idea coming to her head. “Want to make a wish together, then?”

He chuckled, his smile unwavering and bright. “My thoughts exactly! Do you have anything in particular you'd like to wish for?”

For a moment, she closed her eyes, thinking about the various things she could wish for. “My wish is...”

“Your wish is?”

She opened her eyes and focused on him, and a smile burst onto her face. “For your wish to come true, Ashe.”

Ashe jerked in place, and she knew at once he hadn't expected that at all. “What? My wish?” His eyes fell to the ground, his cheeks already turning a hint of pink. “W-Well, let me think...” She waited for his reply, and when he found it, and snapped his fingers and looked to her again. “All right, I've got it. I wish for my brother and sister back home to be able to live out their lives in peace.”

The wish itself was so simple and unselfish, but it was one she knew he would make. He was never concerned with himself, constantly putting himself last to help as many as he could. And even now, when he could wish for his dream of knighthood to come true, he only thought of his siblings and their happiness. A warmth spread through her chest as she smiled again.

“That's just like you.”

His blush deepened as he laughed tersely. “This kind of thing is pretty embarrassing, huh? But, uh, maybe I should be heading back. I'll never get any better at fancy social events like this if I keep running from them, right?” 

“I suppose so,” Byleth sighed. “Same goes for me.” 

“I guess... I should ask another girl to dance,” he muttered. “Oh, but I'd better make sure I go over the steps again first.”

A thought came to her, and she voiced it the second it did. “You could dance with me.”

The suggestion itself shocked her and Sothis, who for the first time said nothing. Only a sputter came from her, and nothing more. Ashe's cheeks turned red again, but his smile became all the brighter. 

“Really? You'd do that? Wow, that'd be great!” he spoke excitedly. He then gave her a pseudo-scowl. “Just promise not to laugh if I mess it up, okay?”

Byleth giggled. She held up her index finger and shook it at him. “If you mess up, you fail the whole class! Everyone! So, you'd better get it perfectly!”

He joined with her in laughing, then held his arm out to her, which she took. “Come on. Let's head back.”

XXXXXX

Oh, how she wanted to tell Jeralt about the dance. He had just returned, only for them to have to leave to rescue some students. For once, he was able to go with them, and that alone was a grace of its own. The dances she had shared with Ashe were engrained in her memory, and she found herself thinking about them daily. She wondered if Ashe did the same, and if he had enjoyed dancing with her as much as she had him. She had recalled everything Jeralt had taught her and used them to teach Ashe, who had no trouble learning and was soon leading her with pride and joy. Of course, Sylvain had made a comment or two the next day in class, but it wasn't his normal prodding. It was legitimate, and it was clear he was elated for Ashe, who had been wracked with anxiety before the ball, only to have ended up having a wonderful time.

When Jeralt returned, he had been greeted with a hug from his daughter, and the look on his face was one Byleth would never forget. It was frustrating that they didn't have time to talk before going on the mission, but it only made her all the more keen to speak to him afterwards, about everything. 

In the battle, they were to save students from Demonic Beasts. They broke off into two groups, one going to the west and the other north, where they would circumvent the beasts in those directions and meet in the field to the north to focus on the beast to the northeast. Byleth chose to stay by Jeralt's side, Ashe naturally going with her. The others with her were Dimitri, Ingrid, and and Annette. To the west fought Dedue, Flayn, Mercedes, Felix, and Sylvain. Byleth hated breaking up into two groups, but she knew it was the most efficient way to save all the students, and she hoped that everyone would be all right.   
The first demonic beast they faced was shortly after their arrival. It took some work, but they had worn it down and killed it before it could take the life of a student. To the west, they could hear the shrill screech of a beast as it was slain, and they began to make their way up north, hoping to convene with the group again over time. They found another beast who had a student cornered, and she was crying heavily, shaking as she did her best to dodge its attacks. As it raised a claw, Ashe launched an arrow, it sticking into its back and distracting it. It let out a growl as it wheeled around, the student peering around it to see her saviors. Jeralt rushed to her aid and put her on his horse, taking off to the entrance of the village where Church soldiers were waiting to take her back. The beast rushed after him, but they blocked its back, nearly being ran over in the process. Annette sent a volley of fireballs its way, some of them hitting it and sending it over on its side. It kicked its feet, its razor sharp claws barely missing Ingrid as she steered her horse to the side. As it struggled to get back up, Byleth grabbed hold of Ashe's wrist and began to pull him with her northeast, where the other student could be heard screaming. She could see a patch of thick vegetation where Ashe could hide from and shoot his arrows as she challenged the beast head-on, and she trusted Dimitri, Annette, and Ingrid to be able to defeat their beast. 

As they neared the thicket, Ashe readied an arrow and shot. It pierced the beast's shoulder, taking its attention away from the student over to the thicket. Snarling, it neared the thicket and began to sniff around, only for another arrow to stick into its nose. With a loud growl, it rared its arms back and began to thrash madly, tearing chunks of trees and grass out. Byleth felt the force of its attacks graze her face, the claws barely missing her as she jumped back behind a large boulder, where Ashe was hiding as well. She gave him a nod, and he rose up to fire another arrow, this one sticking in its hand as it thrashed. It seemed to be focused on them for the time being, so Byleth rushed out and began to charge, only for the beast to turn its back on her and look at the student, who had fallen in his attempt to flee. At once, she could see it ready its charge, so she ran to the student and placed herself in front of him, the Sword of the Creator held out before her, ready to attack- an arrow pierced the back of its head, but it didn't slow it down. Just as the beast raised its claw, she saw Jeralt on his horse rush in front of her and block its attack with his lance. She smiled- he'd come back. It gave her an opening, so she leapt forward and slashed at its torso, but it would take more than that to take it out. Ashe had ran out of the thicket to the student and helped him to his feet, hurrying him along to the exit, covering him in case any other beasts were to show. But he also watched as Byleth and her father fought, side by side. It was orchestrated, valiant, and beautiful. They were in tandem, and it was no wonder they were legends. They way she used her sword, parrying and attacking, Jeralt using his lance as though it was an extension of himself. Once he was sure the student was safe, Ashe ran back to Byleth and Jeralt, helping them in the fight. He would send a hail of arrows, Byleth and Jeralt never once thinking they were in danger of being in the crossfire. He thought back to when they fought Miklan, how tough of a challenge that had been, and how heartbroken Sylvain had been afterwards. Jeralt had mentioned something about them possibly being students turned into the beasts, and it made him both enraged and sad. The only thing left to do now was put them out of their misery. 

The beast spun around and swiped its tail at them, Jeralt pulling the reins back on his his horse to make it jump backwards, Byleth expertly leaping above the tail. Ashe was far enough away that he was safe, but Jeralt had moved in his line of sight, making him have to run over and refocus. The beast opened its mouth and reared back, charging an attack- Ashe shot an arrow at its throat, making it lurch back on its hind legs, giving Byleth and Jeralt their opening to rush it together, taking it down. With one last shriek, it collapsed onto its back and died. Panting, the three exchanged glances as they saw the rest of their friends arrive, having defeated the beasts and saved the students. Only with minor scrapes and bruises, it was a solid victory. Byleth sent some of her students to search for any stragglers, and that's when she heard Jeralt call out to someone.

“Hey, it's all right. They're gone,” he softly spoke, holding his hand out. “Come on out.”

She never expected Monica to be there. 

Monica took Jeralt's hand to let him help her out of her hiding place, the smile on her face... came across to Byleth as untrue and crooked. Jeralt gave her a look-over, and she could see that he was relieved that Monica was unharmed. It struck Byleth odd that after everything she and the students had been through, she was the only one to not be scared senseless or into tears. In fact, it's the crooked smile she had that put Byleth off. But Jeralt seemed elated that the fight ended without bloodshed. 

“Run along now,” Jeralt told Monica with a smile. 

Monica gave him a single wave. “Thanks for all your help, mister!”

She skipped behind him, then turned and thrust something at him. A grunt of shock and pain escaped Jeralt's lips, and when Byleth watched as Monica pulled a bloody dagger out from Jeralt's back, her world shattered. The breath in her lungs dissipated as she saw Jeralt crumble to his knees, Monica peering over him with a smirk on her face, dagger gripped tightly in her hand.

“You are just a pathetic old man,” she spat at him.

Byleth couldn't... wouldn't...

 _“Sothis...”_ she managed to croak, and the hands of time moved back. 

This time, she was ready. She saw Monica now reaching for her dagger, and she withdrew the Sword of the Creator, using its extension powers to strike her down- out of nowhere, seemingly of time and space, a man she had never seen before appeared and blocked the attack, knocking the sword out of Byleth's hand just as Monica stabbed Jeralt. Monica stared at the man, shocked to see him there.

“Huh?” she breathed, confused. “What are you doing here?”

“You must survive. Merely because there is I roll I need you to fulfill,” he told her. He took her into his arms before disappearing, and Byleth could see Jeralt start to collapse. 

_“Sothis!”_

She could feel a pull within her, and then nothing. She rushed forward and took Jeralt into her arms, a panic surging in her chest.

 _“Sothis!”_ she begged again.

_“I... I can't!” Sothis cried out. “He... that man! He did something! I can't!”_

_“Try! Please!”_

_“I am! I...”_ She heard a broken whimper come from Sothis. _“I'm sorry...”_

Byleth's chest ached, and she felt sick to her stomach as she held Jeralt in her arms. She heard Ashe cry out to them, and soon, her students began to make their way to them, slowly. She didn't dare take her eyes off her father, who struggled to take a breath and keep his eyes open. Her arms shook, and she felt a lump in her throat as she looked at him. He had always been so strong, so fearless... but now, in her arms, he was broken, weak... 

She was going to lose him.

His face grew paler and paler, and his blood seeped into her leggings as she held onto him. The want she had to talk to him after this mission, how she wanted to dance with him again, to go fishing... it was falling through her fingers, and she was powerless to stop it. What had that man done? She couldn't turn back time, couldn't save him. There wasn't a damn thing she could do. 

Jeralt's eyelids fluttered as he looked into her eyes. He gave her a weak smile as he took her hand into his. 

“Sorry,” he whispered. “It looks like... I'm going to have to leave you now...” 

He closed his eyes, and he felt something wet splash on his face. He opened his again, thinking it was raining, but was met with Byleth crying bitterly over him. This made him smile sadly as he closed his eyes again, hearing the thunder roll in the distance. 

“To think, the first time I would see you cry... it would be for me.” His hold on her hand tightened, and she could feel the warmth fading. “It's sad, and yet... I'm happy for it.” The hold on her hand loosened, and she knew it wouldn't be long now. She hadn't even realized that Ashe was now at her side, and he had put his hand on her shoulder, kneeling down beside her. Rain began to fall, but all she could do was to sit there and hold Jeralt. “Thank you... kid.” 

Then, he was gone. 

Her sobs grew louder, but the rain began to pour, drowning them out to the others. Ashe, however, heard them, and he put his arm around her shoulders, knowing her pain all too well.

XXXXXX

Having Sothis to guide her through was a blessing, but she had never felt so hollow in her life. Sothis let her cry, urged her that it was okay to let her tears flow. For the first three days, she didn't leave her room, weeping bitterly until she fell asleep, only to wake up and do it all over again. She would hear knocks at her door periodically, and when she would open them much later, she would see water and food placed there. She knew the sweets to be from Annette and Mercedes, and though she was touched by her students' gestures, she couldn't find it in herself to eat. Sothis pushed her to at least keep hydrated, and that was enough. On the fourth day, she managed to tear herself from her bed and make her way to the showers, where she cried while washing herself once she saw a scar on her thigh she remembered getting in a battle where Jeralt had come to her rescue. At first, she couldn't stop thinking about him. Rhea and Seteth had given her leave until she found the strength to teach again, Hanneman and Manuela putting aside their squabbling and coming together to help with the load. It meant the world to her, and she would be sure to thank them later. 

She found herself wandering listlessly on day five, somehow making her way to Jeralt's office, where Alois was standing. He was merely looking over the room, a box on Jeralt's desk that when Byleth got closer realized was empty. Had he be given the task to clear out his best friend's room? Who would do such a thing? Or perhaps... he chose to do it himself out of honor for his friend. When he noticed she was in the room, he turned around and faced her. Byleth had never seen Alois this way: fragile and quiet. He had always been a boisterous person, but all-in-all a great man. Even if Jeralt complain about him being loud and annoying, it was plain to see he thought Alois was a good person and friend. Alois made a promise to her that he would be there for her through anything and help her, as that would have been what Jeralt wanted. He then left the room, giving her time for herself. She searched the room for a while until she found an old book, frayed at the ends.

When she opened it, she gasped. It was Jeralt's diary. 

XXXXXX

Her head swam. Nothing she read made sense, and it only made her want to talk to Jeralt all the more. She... had no heartbeat. No heart. Sitri had died in childbirth, or so that was what Rhea had told Jeralt, but he felt as though there was more to it than that. She returned to her room, leaving the journal in Jeralt's office where she would return to read it when she felt as though she could again. She opened a drawer in her desk and pulled out the ring Jeralt had given her months ago... the ring that had belonged to Sitri. Jeralt had never talked about her mother before, but from she had read in the journal so far, he had been deeply in love, as had Sitri been with him. The two had eloped shortly after she discovered she was pregnant with Byleth, and Jeralt had told her that Sitri smiled the most during those months. Why hadn't she asked about her mother more before? There were so many things left unsaid, undone, and she wanted nothing more than to go back in time, make herself ask Jeralt things and talk to him. 

Everyone was alleviated and happy to see Byleth finally out of her room, but they knew her heart was sore. They all offered their condolences in their own ways. The Gatekeeper was exceedingly heartbroken, and she couldn't help but to hug him and thank him for his service, despite his feelings. Annette and Mercedes gently embraced her and said they would bake fresh sweets for her later, to which she gratefully accepted. She was hungry for the first time in days. Dedue gave her flowers he had grown himself to put on Jeralt's grave. Dimitri offered his lance in service for her revenge. Everyone had come together for her, and she felt...

Loved.

It was nightfall when she returned to her room, where she found Ashe sitting on the steps in front of it, a covered dish and a jug of water in his hands. She sped her pace and neared him, and he looked away from the bushes, where he was watching a snail, to her.

“Professor, hi,” he greeted tenderly. “I made you something.” He then reached in his hoodie pocket and pulled out a brown paper back. “Mercedes and Annette also made you some sweets.” 

Without a word, she sat down beside him, taking the dish and paper bag from him. She opened it up to see Vegetable Pasta Salad, a dish they had cooked together many times. He stood up and went into her room, finding a cup on her desk, and brought it out to her, pouring some water into it. He had brought a fork and gave it to her as well, and she dug in. 

“H-Hey, slow down,” he urged gently. “I know you're hungry, but you'll make yourself sick.”

She nodded at this and did as he said, and he could feel relief. He sat silently by her side, letting her eat, watching the snail again... until he heard her sniffling. He turned his head to her to see that she still had the fork in her mouth, but tears were falling down her cheeks. He decided to say nothing, opting to sit there and let her cry it out as she ate still. Once she was through with the food he had made, she began eating the sweets Mercedes and Annette had made, and she wept more. She finished those and drank almost the whole jug of water, then tried wiping away her tears but failed miserably. 

“It's okay, Professor,” Ashe soothed. “Let it out.”

“This is...” she sobbed. “Ashe, I... I don't know how to handle this.”

“Just one day at a time. It's all you can do.”

She shook her head. “It's more than that.” She hiccupped. “I thought I was alone, but then I see everyone being so kind to me. Offering prayers, words- anything they can, and I don't know how to handle it.” She cried harder. “I lost my father... and I found some things out about myself that I...” She buried her face in her hands. “I'm not alone, but I've never felt more alone in my life.” 

“...I felt the same,” she heard him speak. She felt him put an arm around her shoulder and pull her to him, and she laid her head on his shoulder. “It's a personal hell I wouldn't wish on anyone. I'm sorry. I know there's nothing we or I can do.”

“You're helping more than you know,” she reassured. “I'm so thankful. I truly am. But...”

“I know,” he nodded. “We'll do whatever we can. Just tell me what to do.”

“Don't leave...”

The plea was honest, pure, and he let out a sigh as he let his body relax, ready to stay however long she needed him to. 

“Not until you tell me to go away,” he soothingly spoke. “We don't have to talk, either.”

“Okay.”

For a time, they just sat there, her leaned onto his shoulder as the tears flowed freely down her face. She closed her eyes, feeling the cool night air on her skin, the quiescence somehow peaceful... followed by Ashe humming a tune she'd never heard before. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, and he must have realized this, for he jolted in place and seemed ashamed.

“Ah, sorry. I know I said we didn't have to talk or anything, but-”

“No, it's fine,” she interrupted him. “What song is that?”

“Eh? It's just something my mom and dad would sing to us before they died,” he answered, looking away from her. “It was a lullaby they made up. I learned it and would sing it for my brother and sister.”

“Care to sing it for me?”

He gave her a tense grin. “I'm afraid I'm not a very good vocalist.”

“I've heard you in the cathedral before,” she pointed out. “You're fine. Certainly not a Dorothea, but you have a voice.”

“Haha, well, I doubt anyone can compare to Dorothea,” he chuckled. 

“Sing it for me? Please?” 

“Sure,” he agreed. She closed her eyes and leaned more onto his shoulder, and she heard him take in a breath:

“Do not be afraid of the dark, gentle heart  
It's only then you can look up and see the stars.  
Do not be afraid to be alone, little dear  
As long as I'm in your heart, you'll have me near.  
I can't swear you will be happy all your days  
Life is certain to lead you askew and astray.  
I do promise that when you come out the other side  
That you will be just fine.   
Now close and rest your weary eyes  
And I will be here with you once the sun arises  
To be with you under the endless sky.” 

He had finished the song, but heard nothing from Byleth. Worried she thought the song horrible but was too kind to say so, he looked down at her-

She was fast asleep. 

He wasn't sure what to do. He knew she was exhausted, but she would be more comfortable in her bed. Yet, he didn't want to risk waking her up. Without much of an option, he prepared himself to be there for who knows how long. He smiled to himself; that lullaby had put him and his siblings to sleep just about every time, and now, it had helped his Professor sleep. 

He'd take it. 

XXXXXX

Felix and Sylvain were heading to the training grounds together, weapons in hand, when they caught a peculiar sight. Sylvain put his index finger up to his lips, and Felix rolled his eyes as they passed by a sleeping Byleth and Ashe, still outside on her steps, Ashe leaned against the banister as her head hadn't moved from his shoulder. 

“Their necks and backs are going to be really stiff,” Felix muttered. 

“Ah, hush. Just let 'em sleep,” Sylvain fussed quietly. “But I gotta wonder... how long has Ashe been in love with our Professor?” 

Felix smirked. “Good question. Want me to ask?”

Sylvain balked in his steps. “You? Since when have you cared about emotions like that?”

“Better than you asking. He'll see it as you messing with him.”

Sylvain shrugged. “You got me there.” He then shook his head. “Nah, leave it be. Not much he can do, y'know? She's close to our age, but she's our professor. “ 

“Fair.” 

They entered the training hall, leaving behind Byleth and Ashe, who were fast asleep even now.


	4. Chapter 4

She couldn't hear Sothis anymore. 

Ever since Byleth had merged with Sothis, things had gone to a downward spiral. Edelgard had declared war on the church, Hubert by her side. With Edelgard's declaration of war, Dimitri had lost it. He swore revenge, that he would have her head even if it cost him his life. There was no more talking to him, and no longer could anyone make efforts to bring him back from the brink. Those who had once been in Edelgard's class and had join Byleth's were faced with fighting against two past friends, and it wasn't an easy task to undertake. However, they knew the decision she had made was a dangerous one, a bloody one, and they were prepared to do whatever necessary to stop it. Rhea was infuriated at Edelgard's treachery and was every bit prepared to fight back. This meant that everyone at the monastery against the Empire was now to join the fray. In two weeks' time, they had sent those unable to wield a weapon or use magic to safety. Byleth mustered all the courage she could to give her students, too young to be fighting a war that no one had a part of. Yet, that was the price of war. 

As she stood next to Rhea, she clenched the Sword of the Creator all the tighter in her hand. The two of them overlooked the monastery, observing as the armies clashed in the charge. Byleth took a step back and turned to run, but Rhea gently put her hand on her shoulder, stopping her. They could hear the cries of Demonic Beasts from below, and Byleth felt a surge of panic through her chest. With one calming expression from Rhea, she was told wordlessly that everything would be all right, no matter what happened. She gave Rhea and nod and ran down to do what she knew Rhea had wanted her to do: Help people evacuate. She hoped, prayed that her students- no. They were her _friends_. She prayed they would be safe and come out of the battle alive. She thought of Ashe, and her chest ached. Forced to push those thoughts aside, she raced on.

She came across a Demonic Beast threatening to engulf a soldier, and immediately pivoted, unleashing her blade upon them. The beast growled as it released the soldier's mangled arm, rushing at her in retaliation. It lunged at her, but she ducked and slashed its back once it passed her. The soldier was given assistance by the Gatekeeper, who voiced a quick thanks as he helped his friend to her feet and ran to give her aid. The beast wheeled around a snapped its jaws at Byleth, who parried with her sword, only to have to jump back to avoid an attack by its claws. It quickly swerved around and swiped its massive tail at her, making her hold her sword out in front of her to block the brunt of the hit. She was knocked off her feet, backwards into a stone wall with enough force to make her cry out. With a gasp, she held her sword in front of her again, blocking the beast's gnashing teeth, then moved it upwards, knocking its face back. She withdrew a dagger from her waistband and plunged it into its neck, then ripped it to the side, slitting its throat. The beast's blood sprayed over her, and she maneuvered out of its way as its body collapsed to the ground. Wasting no time, she sheathed the dagger and took off to find others to give them the order to retreat-

That's when she heard it. A loud growl mixed with a human's cry of fury from the sky. She looked behind her and upward into the clouds to see a massive, white dragon come from the place she had last been with Rhea, and it began to attack the Empire's soldiers and Demonic Beasts. Something inside Byleth told her to go to the dragon, and as she ran, any allied to the church, she told them to retreat. As quickly as her feet could take her, she ran to the dragon to see it fighting off Empire soldiers. Without hesitation, Byleth joined her side, striking down an archer as she did. Together, they took down the Empire's soldiers surrounding them, the dragon either stomping them, grabbing them its mouth and tossing them, or breathing intense fire. When they were alone for just a moment, the dragon turned to Byleth and lowered its head closer to her.

“Why did you come back?” it asked, and Byleth's eyes widened. That voice...

But her thoughts were dashed when Demonic Beasts charged again. This time, it was too many to counter, and Byleth and the dragon were separated, Byleth being pushed towards a ravine. The dragon could see Byleth was in trouble and tried to go to her rescue, but was overwhelmed by the beasts. In the distance, the same man who had helped in Jeralt's death appeared and used a powerful magic, sending it Byleth's way. Before anything could be done, Byleth's shrill scream was heard as she fell into the ravine, and nothing more.

XXXXXX

_“You... How long do you intend to sleep?”_

She couldn't open her eyes, couldn't move. Her body felt heavy, and the exhaustion that wracked it was frightening. The voice she heard... she had heard it before. Many times. But why couldn't she remember?

 _“Your body is awake,”_ the voice continued. A young voice. A girl's voice. _“Your eyes must open now, and you must find the strength to stand upon those legs of yours.”_

She was tired... so tired. But now she knew. She remembered, and it made her chest hurt. It was an old friend returned, and she opened her eyes to see-

Darkness.

Darkness so powerful, she could feel it. Touch it. Only one time had she been in such darkness, and it scared her. Had it all been a dream? Had Solon won, and she had dreamt of escaping the darkness, only to wake up in it? Her eyelids drooped and closed. Despite being scared, she was ever so sleepy.

 _“Like so much rain, a pool of blood has fallen to the ground...”_ the voice lamented. Memories flooded Byleth, and she became all the more frightened. The monastery. Her friends. Rhea. _“As spears and arrows pierce the earth, it weeps. And even now... it weeps.”_ Even now? What did that mean? How long had she been in this darkness? _“In order to survive, they kill. And so, the people of this world are lost in the abyss of suffering. They weep as well.”_ She felt a hand place on her cheek that somehow seemed to calm her thoughts. _“The only one who truly knows the nature of such things is I... Or rather, you.”_

Her mind still foggy from sleep, she simply said a word she hadn't meant to say: “Who?”

The hand that was on her cheek disappeared quickly. _“Excuse me?! Are you saying you have forgotten who I am?! How dare you!”_

No, she hadn't forgotten... just nothing made sense. 

_“Get on your feet! Right now!”_ the voice commanded. _“I'll coddle you no more! You are just like a child, always needing me to hold your hand!”_

She opened her eyes, a blinding light evading them. 

“Sothis?” she called out, choking on the name. 

“I don't know what that is, but no, I'm not them.” 

She blinked to see a river, greenery and trees, and a lone man standing over her. Startled, she rose to her feet, the man having to steady her as she staggered slightly. Who was he? Where was she? 

“I... what? Who are you?” she stammered, holding her head in her hands. 

“I'm just a villager here,” he answered, giving her a look-over. “What are you doing in a place like this?”

Place like this? She looked around again, taking more of the scenery in. Off in the distance, she could see a small group of villagers with what little livestock and belongings they had left. The place she was in now was what was left of a village, ravaged to the ground. Buildings were crumbled, ash and dying fire was here and there. What on earth had happened here? 

“I honestly didn't expect to find someone floating away down the river.” She blinked and looked at him, her mouth suddenly dry. “Garreg Mach is upstream of here, but that place is abandoned.”

“Abandoned?” she croaked, feeling lightheaded. 

“Yeah. Don't you know? The Church of Seiros isn't there anymore,” the man replied, visibly bewildered by Byleth's confusion. “Though, there have been some folks still living there in the five years since... you know.”

Byleth staggered again, the villager reaching out and steadying her. Five years? Had she heard that right? It wasn't possible... 

“Hey, whoa. You okay?”

“Five years?”

The man patted her shoulder. “You must have hit your head. Take it easy.” He gestured to his group. “You can come with us. There have been thieves spotted around here lately. I can tell you're a fighter, but you're in no condition to fight right now.”

“What year is it?” Byleth asked, her tongue sticking to the roof of her mouth. 

“Huh? What do you mean? It's 1185, the month of the Ethereal Moon.” He put a hand on his hip and another up to his forehead. “Kinda sad, though, y'know? Tomorrow was supposed to the Millennium Festival, but...” 

“Oh,” Byleth simply said, a light igniting inside. She took a step past the villager, who grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

“Where do you think you're going? You need rest!”

“I'm going to Garreg Mach,” she retorted monotonously, slipping her wrist out of his hold. “Thank you for getting me out of the river. But I'm fine now.”

She continued walking, despite hearing the man call out to her about the bandits. The light that was deep inside... it told her to go. She had to. It was a promise, after all. And if it had truly been five years since she had fallen into the ravine, then perhaps they would be there. They all would. He would. It was a vain hope, she knew this. It was war, after all. People were fighting, and it had been five years. The last thing on their minds would be a promise made years ago, before any of this had even threatened to happen. Legs heavy, body still sluggish and tired, she kept on, one foot in front of the other. She had no idea what she would find there, but still, she had to go. As she made her way to Garreg Mach, her vision was filled with signs of war and conflict. Villages razed to the ground, scorched earth, dead livestock, fresh graves... 

Jeralt and Sitri's grave was at Garreg Mach. 

A lump rose in her throat. She prayed it had been untouched. Once she returned to the monastery, she would visit them and clean up the grave. If the tombstone was damage, she would have another one made. Jeralt and Sitri deserved that much. 

Within a few hours, she had made her way to the monastery. Dead Imperial soldiers were scattered all around, and it made her hair stand on end. Was someone here? She leaned down and felt the skin of one- it was cold, but she could tell it hadn't been there long. These bodies were fresh. Up the stairs she walked, her hand around her sword's hilt. Could she fight, after being asleep for five years? She shook her head; it wasn't as though she had much of a choice now. It had been dark on her way there, but the sun was starting to rise, giving light to the monastery. In the light, she could see that war had done so much damage to the historical, once-beautiful place. It broke her heart. 

At the top of the stairs, she thought her eyes were playing a trick on her, and she couldn't help but let out a gasp. Surrounded by dead Imperial soldiers, hunkered down against a wall with blood splattering his armor and face, spear in hand, was Dimitri. He must have been sleeping there, for when the sun came into the room, his head rose- a pain flashed through Byleth's chest when she saw that he wore an eyepatch now, and the other eye held such exhaustion, rage, resentment, and sorrow. His hair had grown long, scraggly, and he was the shell of the person he was five years ago. Five years ago, he had been full of hope, life... now? 

She walked to him and stopped, unable to say anything. He didn't look up at her for the longest time, only doing so when she held a helping hand down to him. Turning his gaze away, he denied her hand. 

“I should have known...” he whispered, his voice deep, dark, “that one day... you would be haunting me as well...”

He had told her of his past, shortly after what had happened in Remire Village. How could she ever forget that? For five years, had he thought her dead? Then again, what else did she expect? That meant that more than likely, everyone else felt the same way he did. 

“Dimitri,” she spoke carefully, pulling her hand away, “I-”

“You,” he spat out, rising to his feet. “What must I do to be rid of you?”

For the first time in her life, Byleth felt utterly hurt. He thought her a phantom, one of those he had lost and to plague him. She had returned, only to be met with this. 

“I will kill that woman, I swear it!” he yelled, bowing his head. “Do not look upon me with scorn in your eyes!” 

“Woman?” She clenched her fists. “Edelgard...” She took a step toward him, cautious. “Dimitri... I'm no phantom. Look at me. Please.”

For a moment, he kept his head bowed. Slowly, he lifted his chin to see her, to truly look at her for the first time, and his eye widened in shock. 

“It can't be!” he cried out. “You're alive!”

A spark of hope returned to her. “Yes, Dimitri. I'm back.”

The hold on his spear tightened. “Then that can only mean one thing,” he snarled. “You're another Imperial spy.” The light died out. “Did you come here to kill me?”

“Of course not,” she calmly assured, holding her hands out in front of her. “I would never do such a thing, Dimitri. You and I are friends.” He let out a groan and trudged past her, saying nothing more. She had hoped, and even though it hurt to see him this way... “I'm glad you are safe.” She meant it. 

“Am I?” he asked her, and she found herself unable to say another word. They stood in silence, and she could feel the emptiness of his soul in her depths. What had he endured in the past five years? Why was he alone? Where was Dedue? She had so many questions for him, but with the way he was now, she doubted he would give her any answers. Still, it was worth a try.

“Dimitri,” she spoke quietly, “what have you done the past five years?”

He refused to meet her gaze. “I've been dead, more or less.”

“Dead?” she breathed. “What do you mean?”

“What does it matter to you?” he barked at her. “There are more important matters at hand than what I have been doing.”

“I understand that,” she agreed. “But-”

“Do you smell them?” he interrupted her. He finally turned and looked at her. “Filthy rats. Everywhere.”

“You mean the bandits?” she asked him. “They're here?”

“Of course they are here,” he lashed out at her question. “Any promises of treasure, they will come scurrying.” He crossed his arms. “Since the monastery fell, so did all means of order with it. Thieves pillage and run rampant, but I will make sure to kill every last one of them.”

Byleth put a hand up to her chest. This wasn't Dimitri... 

“Dimitri,” she muttered, thinking of Ashe's past, “even thieves are just trying to survive.”

“They must die,” was his only retort. “Don't you see? Someone has to put a stop to the strong trampling the weak.” He leered down at her. “Or do you mean to tell me you condone their actions?”

“I don't,” she answered, “but they-”

“They must be put down for their actions!” he fumed, his eye radiating rage. “I intend to give them a taste of the pain they have inflicted on others!” As quickly as the rage had surfaced, it disappeared, and his shoulders slumped. “...Even if it means becoming a rat myself... I swore to at least do that much. I will not let them down...”

Byleth knew. She knew there was no talking him into dealing with the thieves peacefully, or even suggesting any other alternatives to dealing with them. The Dimitri she knew was long gone.

“How many do you think there are?” 

“Does it matter?” he turned on her. “All that matters is killing those who deserve to die.”

Without another word, Dimitri walked away, Byleth trailing behind. She had to walk as fast as she could in order to keep up with Dimitri, who searched all throughout the monastery for any signs of thieves. She kept her hand on the hilt of her sword, ready to fight. Doubtless that Dimitri would allow any chance of parley, she was instead focused on keeping up with him as well as scanning the area for traces of thieves. It pained her to see Garreg Mach in the state it was in. Five years ago, it was a thriving home for many, and it was a symbol of peace. She wasn't blind to the fact that there were some things wrong with the church, but it did bring hope to countless of people. It had been her home for a year, a place where she had made many friends. Where her father and mother rested. Her thoughts rushed to two things: her father's office, and her mother's ring. She had left her mother's ring in her dresser, and no doubt, thieves had taken it by now. Her father's office... was it still in tact? Was the journal still there? Any ties she had to her father and mother were more likely gone by now. She felt helpless. 

Her thoughts were interrupted when Dimitri suddenly stopped in front of her, holding his hand up. 

“They're here, I can smell them,” he spoke, disgust on his face. “I'll kill every last one of them!”

Before she could say another word, he rushed in, attacking a bandit and snuffing his life out in one fell swoop of his spear. She ran after him, ready to give him aid, but he was unstoppable. He wielded his spear with ease, deftness, and expertise. Years of fighting on his own had made his strength soar, and he was like a beast unleashed. She decided that perhaps she could find the leader somewhere before Dimitri did and talk him into surrendering to her, so she took off on her own. 

Using the terrain of dilapidated homes, buildings, and brush to her advantage, she stealthily made her way around, knocking out any bandits she came across. Their focus was on Dimitri, after all, and she was somewhat thankful for that. She was making good headway when an arrow whizzed by her face, sticking in an overturned log behind her. 

“He has help!” the archer on top one of the buildings called out. “To me!”

“Dammit...” she hissed, withdrawing her sword. She used its extension ability to take out the archer on top of the building, and as it whipped back to her, she swerved it to the left to take out a bandit running towards her. She ran to the other side of the building and sidled against it, breathing heavily. Five years of sleep had taken its toll, and she was worried if she could keep up. She heard rustling around the building, so she jumped out to be met with a bandit slashing his sword at her. Quickly pivoting to the side, she jerked her sword up to knock it back, then thrust her shoulder at him, hitting him in the chest and pushing him backwards. She then cast Nosferatu at him, rendering him unconscious and gathering some of his energy that she was desperately needing. Concerned with Dimitri, she chose to make her way back to him. As she ran, a bandit darted out from one of the buildings, slicing a wound on her side. With a cry, she jerked back but wasted no time in blocking another attack by him. She parried and pushed off with her back foot, sending the bandit back against the wall, where she withdrew her dagger and sliced his throat. Dagger in one hand, sword in the other, she continued her way to Dimitri, coming face to face with two bandits. She could hear Dimitri's battlecries in the distance, not giving off a hint of pain or struggle. That gave her a little hope.

She ducked to avoid an arrow shot by one of the bandits, then rolled to dodge the sword of the other. When she landed on the balls of her feet, she pushed up and went for the legs of the sword user, who lowered his body to block, only for her to change tactics, raise up, and elbow him in the face. His nose exploded in blood, and she grabbed him and jumped behind him as the archer fired, the arrow killing the bandit instead of her. She then threw the body and the archer, rushed forward, and stabbed the bandit between the ribs on his side, killing him instantly. Breathless, she staggered backwards, her back hitting the wall. She was panting heavily, and her body screamed in agony. Her vision shook with sparks flittering here and there, and she was so thirsty... 

“I found you!” a bandit yelled at her from the side. She turned her head to see him rushing, steel knuckles raised, another bandit with a sword in his hands. “Time to die, you bitch!”

She wasn't ready-

Three arrows flew past her and pierced the bandit's chest, sending him reeling backwards and onto the ground. The sword user growled in anger but kept his route, as he was near her- she saw a flicker of blue, a hand with a sword in it, then the person grab onto the bandit as he impaled him with the sword. The bandit yelled as he was then pushed off the sword, and the person sheathed the sword, turning around to face her as he did and holding a hand down to her.

“Professor. It's so good to see you.”

She looked from the hand up to the man to see the freckles she had come to know only belonging to one person, and green eyes vivid a bright. Before she could stop herself, she threw her arms around him.

“Ashe! It's really you!”

The way he embraced her back was enough to put her worries at ease. For the first time since she had awoken, she felt something other than confusion and sadness. Seeing him there, having rescued her when she needed someone the most, was almost more than she could take. Tears spilt onto her cheeks, and he pulled her away, his hands on her shoulders, and gave her a reassuring smile. 

“I know it's a lot to take in right now, but we have to help everyone else out. Can you do that?” he asked her. 

After all this, he was concerned for her. She swallowed hard and blinked away her tears. “Everyone?”

He nodded. “We came back. We didn't forget the promise.” His eyes shone. “I'm glad we did, now.” He looked to her side to see it bleeding. “You're hurt.”

“It's not much. Just a graze, really,” she assured. That's when she realized... Ashe had gotten taller, his hair no longer unruly and longer. His shoulders had broadened, his body becoming more muscular but still keeping thin. An odd feeling formed in her chest, and she wasn't sure what it meant.

Ashe shook his head. “I've got you covered, don't worry. Just stick by me, okay?”

She smiled. “You bet I will.”

They returned to the fight, and the more they went in, the more of her past students she met. Everyone had grown, changed... become so much stronger than they were five years ago. With them all there, the bandits didn't stand a chance, and they had them defeated shortly after the rest had arrived. But one person was missing... 

When the battle was over, Dimitri told them that Dedue had been killed five years ago. 

What had started out as a reunion at dawn was now one of heartbreak. 

XXXXXX

Byleth felt even more exhausted than she had before. After being caught up on what had happened during the five years she had been asleep, her mind was swimming, and she was lost on where to begin in terms of putting everything in order. Had Sothis been there, she would have been able to provide some insight, but they had joined, giving Byleth new power. She hadn't forgotten that Sothis had been the one to wake her from her slumber, either, and she was exceedingly grateful for her. Surely Sothis knew about thankful she was? 

Having mostly everyone together again was a breath of fresh air, despite it being for the purpose of war. It was bittersweet, however. Annette revealed that she was keeping correspondence with Claude, who was doing all he could to keep up the front that the Alliance was fine when all actuality, it was anything but. The Alliance was falling apart from the inside, almost at a civil war, but to the outsiders looking in? Claude was either a genius or desperate. Lorenz attributed it to the latter. Dimitri's stepmother had usurped the throne and had sentenced her stepson, whom she still thought to be dead. If it hadn't been for Dedue...   
Poor Flayn was beside herself. The only thing they could do was comfort her the best they could. 

Flayn was not the only one suffering. Ferdinand had lost his home, his status- everything. Caspar had cut ties with his family completely, fearing the day he would have to fight his father or his relatives in the war. Lorenz felt conflicted on if he even made the right choice in siding with the Church. Marianne was faced with the fact that the Dimitri she cared about was gone, a husk of the person she knew before in her wake, filled with thoughts of hate and vengeance. He had even lost his patience with Annette, who had merely suggested cleaning the monastery a bit for those who would come for refuge or to give support to the cause, calling her and everyone weak. That they were not taking the war seriously, and he was disgusted by them. It was soul-rendering, and Felix had snarled at Dimitri to “watch his damn tone”. Annette was anxious over Claude and how he was doing, despite Hilda telling her time and time again to trust in Claude and that he would be just fine. Countless hearts were troubled, and Byleth felt such pity... Everyone was worried about Rhea, if she was still alive, and if she was, where was the Empire holding her? 

When Gilbert was through with the meeting, Byleth hurried out of the room to her old room she had lived in while teaching at the monastery. The dormitories were deeper within Garreg Mach, and from what she could tell while walking around, it was relatively unscathed. Reaching her room, she opened the door to see it almost just the way she left it five years ago, the furniture and her bedding covered in quite an accumulative amount of dust. With shaky hands, she opened the top drawer to her desk-

And slumped down in her chair in a wave of relief.

Her fingers brushed over her mother's ring, left untouched. 

Her side ached, but she would have Manuela look at it later. There was one more place she needed to go. 

Up she went, to her father's office, and was just as relieved to see it was secured as well. She recalled the journal, and when she found it just where it had been left, an overwhelming urge to cry filled her chest, but she held it back. There was still so much she needed to read, to discover about herself, Jeralt, and Sitri. 

Tenderly, she reached up and took the book down from the shelf to take it to her room to read later.   
XXXXXX

Recovery on the monastery began posthaste, and within a week, it was looking better and better. The Greenhouse was weeded, somehow some of the oldest flowers and trees thriving after five years left to the wilds. Cleaning up the debris would take more time, but everyone pitched in a little day by day. Dimitri was impatient, audibly expressing his disdain for the efforts to make the monastery a place for life and refuge again. In a way, Byleth couldn't fault him for his feelings. The Empire needed to be stopped, Rhea to be rescued, so of course, it would seem that their task was fruitless and unwarranted. Nonetheless, when people began to return, it was clear it was a step in the right direction. 

The Greenhouse and kitchens, however, felt a little more empty without Dedue there. 

It hurt everyone that Dedue was gone. There were those who held onto a vain sliver of hope that he was somehow alive. Ashe was one of them. Seeing his hope made Flayn believe in it, too. Dimitri cursed them, angry at their childish wish that someone dead would come back again. While others were upset at his anger, Ashe understood. No one hurt more than Dimitri, who had lost a lifelong friend, or perhaps someone he considered a brother. When not training, Flayn kept herself busy with the flora in the greenhouse and getting better at cooking. Mercedes, Bernadetta, and Ashe would offer assistance when they could; Flayn wanted to make a dish for Dedue when he returned. That was a dream she held onto, and no one could blame her for that. 

Being back with everyone was a grace on its own. Byleth, while she was happy to be with everyone, was most at peace when she was around Ashe. He had changed. Five years ago, he was timid, hard on himself, and full of doubt. Now, he had found confidence. It was shown when he rescued Byleth during the skirmish with the bandits. She found herself wanting to spend more time with him, whether it be training, on missions, cooking- whatever they could do. He spoke about his brother and sister, teenagers now and helping his adoptive mother in any way they could. He had made sure they were safe during the war now that he was made the head of the house. Where they were now, he had only told Byleth, and she made sure to keep it a secret as well for their protection.   
During her free time, Byleth would read her father's journal, each time feeling increasingly confused and defeated. How she wished Jeralt was still there to give her answers, guidance... to fish with her, to spend any kind of time with. She missed him more than she could ever express. She did as she had promised and cleaned his and Sitri's grave; miraculously, the tombstone had been undamaged, getting merely mossy over the span of five years. After a good scrubbing with the help of Ashe, it looked just as good as new. 

One day, she came across a passage that made her soul shatter:

_My daughter has earned a moniker. One that I despise deeply. The Ashen Demon._

She froze, her eyes glued onto that title. It had been so long since anyone had called her that, she had nearly forgotten. There were times she could look back on where Jeralt would yell at those who had called her that, but she didn't know why it upset him so. At Garreg Mach, no one used it. She was simply “Professor”, a title she had come to love. Even now, her past students used it. 

_It is my fault. Had I raised her right... raised her in a village or in peace, where she didn't have to fight... she would never have been given such an abhorrent title. They do not seem to understand that she has fought to save lives, to ensure that those not strong enough to protect themselves survive. When they call her “Ashen Demon”, I know she has no cognitive ability to know what it is they say. But I do. And I can't stand it. They see her as a monster, a beast who kills as she is told to. She may have no emotions, and that could play a part in their judgment, but she is still so young._

_The lives she has taken in order to save countless lives... such a moniker has no business belonging to her._

_Sitri, I am sorry. I promised you that I would make her happy for you, but it seems I cannot keep that promise._

She closed the book, setting it on her desk. Before Garreg Mach, she had taken lives. Many lives. They had been orders, before she had been able to gather her own choices and beliefs. Hindsight made her see that perhaps all those decisions had not necessarily been for the right reasons, but she had been a mercenary.   
It made her sick. 

With shaky legs, she rose up and took the journal in her arms. She had to return it to Jeralt's office for the time being. She couldn't bear to read it again until she was ready. 

As she passed by the greenhouse, she heard Ashe call out to her. He jogged up to her, a worried expression on his face. 

“Professor? What's the matter? You look really pale.”

“It's nothing, Ashe...” she answered weakly, not slowing down. He kept up, all the more concerned now. 

“Doesn't seem that way. Are you ill? Want me to take you to see Manuela?” 

Her speed slowed gradually until she came to a stop. She was hesitant, holding the book in her quivering arms. Life was so much simpler when she had no emotions to bind her like this. In a way, she wished she could return to those times. Then again, she was glad to have emotions now. It made her be, and for once people saw her as something other than a merc for hire. She was a friend, a teacher, a sister in arms. Her mind wondered to Ashe. He had told her about his past, and she had accepted it. If she told him about her past now, would he accept her as she was? He knew she was a mercenary before her life in Garreg Mach, but to learn of her title? Catherine had been known as Thunderstrike Cassandra, and it was no secret that she had thrown away that moniker and made a new name for herself. Shamir accepted her for everything she was. In a way, hadn't Byleth done the same with her past? 

On a whim and prayer, she turned to Ashe, ready.

“I found out more about myself today.”

“Oh?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Was it from that book you are holding?” 

She nodded. “It's my father's journal.”

“Jeralt kept a journal? I would've never thought him to be someone to do such a thing,” Ashe awed. “It's a good thing you found this. Truly. I know there was much about your past you weren't told about.”

“That's... part of the problem,” she spoke slowly, her fingers gliding over the top of the journal, feeling the frayed pages. “Sometimes, I feel like I end up with more questions than answers. And other times, I don't... like what I read.”

“I see.” Ashe glanced around. “Would you feel better if we talked about this in private?” 

“I would,” she agreed. “My room is close by.”

His cheeks turned red. “Would it be wise for me to go to your room? Won't people talk?”

“I don't care about that right now,” she sighed, annoying at the prospect that people would use her and Ashe as a means of gossip. “Let's go.”

Ashe followed her silently back to her room, where she closed the door behind them. She sat on her bed, Ashe taking the chair at her desk and turning it around so he could sit across from her. The book was in her lap, and she ran her hands over the cover, anxiety filling her body. She opened it up and found the passage she had just read, but hesitated to give it over to Ashe. He must have sensed her discomfort, and he leaned forward, looking into her eyes.

“Professor, you don't have to show me anything if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“It's more than that,” she denied. “I just... I'm scared what you'll think of me.”

“Let me test that out for myself, then.”

She nodded once and handed over the journal. She pointed to the exert she wanted him to read and gave him a few minutes to go over it. The silence that lingered in the room as he did was almost too much, and her anxiety doubled in just that short amount of time. It hit her that out of everyone she knew, she cared about what Ashe thought about her the most. When had that changed? Or had it been that way for a long time? She wasn't sure anymore. Her hands gripped the edge of the bed tightly, her knuckles turning white. What seemed like an hour but was only a few minutes passed by, and she wanted to just fade out of existence. 

“Okay, so I've derived several things from reading this,” Ashe at last spoke. 

“Oh?” she asked, not looking up from the floor. “What are they?”

“Well, for starters, Jeralt loved you very much,” Ashe began. This made her look up into his verdant eyes, seeing truth in them. “He may not be here physically any longer, but I can see he made such an impact on you that you have many of his mannerisms. You care about people, just like he cared about you.

“Also,” he continued, “you are not this title people have given you.”

“Huh? Didn't you read the passage?” she asked, confused. 

“I did,” he answered with a nod.

“Then, I don't understand.”

Ashe inhaled a deep breath as he leaned forward and placed the book open on Byleth's bed. “They gave it to you out of pure judgment. They thought only of the lives you took, not of those you had saved.” He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees as he put his weight on them. “A demon doesn't do things like that. Trust me.”

“But it doesn't make it right,” she argued, shaking her head. “It's like how you told me about your past. Even though you did it to keep yourself and your family alive, it still wasn't right.”

“Perhaps,” Ashe agreed, “but I've grown more to see that the world is not just black and white. You still saved many, many people. Still do. But it's war, so that means we must take lives to save lives. We can look at what Edelgard is wanting to achieve and know it is not that simple. That what she is doing is wrong. And I'm certain Jeralt didn't have the both of you take on jobs that weren't of the same manners. He wouldn't do that to you.”

She slunk down on the bed. “But about the part where I'm a monster... it's not wrong.”

“Now, that part _is_ wrong. I know that it is.” 

“But it isn't!” She grabbed the book and flipped to the entry she knew to show Ashe. She thrust the book in his hands. “Read here.”

She gave him a moment, and when she saw his eyes widen, she knew... 

But was not ready for the next words.

“So... you don't have a heartbeat? What of it?”

The breath was stolen from her lungs. Did he understand what he had just read? 

“I... what?” she breathed. “Ashe, don't you get it? There is something off with me. And if Rhea were here, I could ask her and get answers, but she's not.” She hugged herself, feeling vulnerable and exposed. “Who doesn't have a heartbeat besides those who are already dead? But here I am, living, breathing, with strange powers that no one can explain.” She looked away from him. “Doesn't that scare you?”

“It's certainly different, but... if anything, I'd say you're a blessing from the goddess herself. A miracle, if you will.” He saw Byleth jerk in place, and her eyes met his again, wide and full of shock. He leaned back and crossed his arms. “I won't lie. None of this makes sense. But the part where you're a monster? Not a chance. Know why?” She shook her head. “I've watched you fight to protect innocent people. To stop injustices. To save friends. You may have been emotionless when you first got here, but you are nothing like that now. You smile, laugh, cry, get angry... you eat, sleep, bathe- just like humans do.” He smiled warmly at her, and it made her want to cry. “If that doesn't make you a human, I don't know what does.” 

“Ashe...” she whispered, ease spreading throughout her body.

“When we find Rhea, we'll ask her all the questions you have about yourself. And we won't take no for an answer,” he reassured. “But don't think of yourself as a monster. As the Ashen Demon. Because it's not true, any of it. Okay? If anyone calls you either, just ignore it or tell me, and I'll set them straight.”

She exhaled a deep breath. “Okay.” She then smiled at Ashe. “Thank you, Ashe. Really.” 

His face exhumed uneasiness from her gratuity. “For what? I didn't do anything.” 

“You've always been there for me, and it means a great deal,” she denied. She then took the journal from him and closed it, setting it on her bed. “If I come across anything else, I'll tell you about it.”

“Me? Why?”

“Because I trust you,” she answered honestly. It was a simple answer, but one that made Ashe's heart soar. 

“O-Oh. Good. I'm glad,” he beamed awkwardly, messing with his hair out of nervousness.

Byleth felt something inside of her, and it wasn't a feeling she was used to. Seeing Ashe, being with him again after five years... He had become so handsome, so much braver, and she had come to trust him more than anyone else. She wasn't sure what the feeling was, but it was growing more and more each passing day. 

“Say, Ashe,” she piped up, “would you like to cook with me? I know we don't have much, but it would do everyone good to have some great cooking.”

His cheeks turned red, but he nodded with a smile. “I'd love to! Let's go!” 

As they walked to the kitchens together, Byleth wondered if Ashe was having the same feelings towards her that she was starting to feel towards him... and if he understood what they were. Or perhaps he was just as clueless as she was. 

Only time would tell.


End file.
